The Adventure

A Long Absense & Two New Blogs

2010-12-03T01:45:00.000-08:00

It's only to state the obvious to say that I haven't posted here for a while. There's lots of reasons for that - getting married in May 2010, moving to England in September, and starting a doctoral program at Oxford in October - but another reason for that is because my wife and I have started another blog to share about life together. That blog is:

twoostendorffs.blogspot.com

Click on over and check it out. My wife, Lauren, does most of the posts and they're great! Videos, stories, pictures. The post's will make you laugh, make you go 'hmm' about British culture, and, I think, you'll really enjoy them.

As well, starting today, I've begun another blog called 'A Lot of Studying, a Little Bit of Technology'. For those of you that know me, you know I love gadgets and technology. The idea came from my brother-in-law, Nathan, and will reflect on different apps, programs, gadgets, etc. - especially in relation to academic work. It should be interesting and I've got lots of tips to share already of things I've found the most useful. Check it out at:

lotsofstudyalittletech.blogspot.com

On the rare occassion, you might find a post on this blog, but I think it's likely going to lay pretty quiet until either summers or I'm done with my doctoral program.

Flying

2010-05-04T12:07:00.000-07:00

That sweet spot

That something special

A particular thing

In a particular way.

Made for that place.

Exhausting

My job is exhausting. No, not in the way you might think. It's not a construction job where I'm physically worn-out at the end of every day. It's not a research job where my mind hurts after a full-day of reading and processing information. It's even a job where I love the people I work with. I have a great boss, who is not only understanding and supportive, but trusts and relies on me. I have co-workers who are great at what they do and who continue to teach me a lot. No, it's not the type of job I have that wears me out, nor is it the people.

The Job, God's Provision

I work at the church I started going to when my family moved to Little Rock in 1999: Fellowship Bible Church. Started 33 years ago, it's a great place with a solid foundation and a commitment to the Lord. With a weekly attendance of over 4,000 men, women and children, it's also a big place with lots going on. I work in the "Production Technology" department. We're the team who's in charge of everything from sound to video to lights. We work with some of the coolest technology and do a great job at what we do. On Sunday's, our team of 10 are the ones who make sure that everyone can see and hear in worship and in the sermon. During the week, we keep events running on campus, maintain computer networks, the phone system, etc. There are always new challenges, new fires to put out, and new things to try.

Seven months ago the job was a gift from God, just what I needed financially, location wise, and a great team to get to work with - and it still is just that, a gift from God. His provision for me. In it, He has reminded me that He is Jehovah Jireh - God, the provider.

Wedding Hammers

"Wedding" and "hammers" in the same phrase? What in the world! Lauren and I have started getting wedding gifts over the last month. It's been so much fun to open them and continues to get us so excited about our new life together. It's also really humbling. That people have spent their hard-earned money to bless us - I can't think of a better word for it than humbling. To receive gifts we in no way deserve, given by friends and family out of their love for us.

In all the gifts, I've received a couple of hammers - which is great! You can always use a hammer and it's nice to have an extra one around. Not only that, hammers are great for a lot of different things. You can use them to hold a door up while you hang the hinges or as a base for another hammer in pulling out long nails. But what a hammer's really made for - what it's really good at, is hammering nails or pulling nails out. It's a pretty simple tool, but it does those things the best - those uses are the hammer's sweet spot. That place where it's being used in the way it was made to be used.

A Mother

The same principle holds true for us. God has given us an ability to do so many different things. Just watch a mom on an average day. Mentoring and guiding her kids as they grow, cooking a meal, cleaning a house, learning to get gum out of her daughter's hair or the 'bug guts' out of her son's shirt, all the while building friendships with friends and investing in others - whether leading a Bible study, working with a team on a design project, or helping someone decorate their home. Mom's are the, without exception, the best example in our world of the ability God has given us to do so many different things - whether they're our favorite thing to do or not. But even a mom has her sweet spot - whether it's hosting a party, painting in pastels or acrylics, writing an article on the place of romance in medieval literature, or putting together a brief on the affects of the Greek economic crisis on the European Union.

I admire mom's so much. Their lives of sacrifice and their faithfulness to doing what needs to get done. There is no one in our culture and in our world who works 24/7 with no pay and, sometimes, shockingly little encouragement. No one, period. There is no profession and no job that gives us as much as a mother does. I'd like to think it's the reason that both in the UK and in the US, there's a day set aside every year to celebrate moms (UK: March 14; US: May 9 - this year).

Surviving & the Cry

Back to the beginning and my job. While mom's are the best example, we all are capable of doing lots of different things. Over the years, I've planned events for the JBU Admissions Department, played host to groups at a 'bed and breakfast' in Northern Ireland (and cleaned bathrooms, made beds, and did LOTS of laundry), and learned and managed a 15 year-old telephone system. There's lots of things we are able to do. God made us in that incredible way. I had several friends last year at Queen's University who didn't love studying, but could do it - and did it well. They knew it wasn't what they were made for - but it was what they were called to for that time. Likewise, I wasn't made for these jobs, but I was able to do them.

I know these jobs and places when I'm in them. Those places that, rather than giving us life, suck the life out of us. Every job will have its days like that - but it's a different thing when every day sucks the life out of us. It's the days that remind us of our dreams. Too many people have ignored this reminder and remained "stuck" in jobs they hate. They just push through life - counting down the number days until retirement. It's an "evolutionary" mindset to working - those 40+ years in which we spend the majority of our life. A mindset that to survive until it's over. It's in jobs like that, that something cries out inside of us "There's gotta be something more than this!" The realization that we were made to fly.

Made to Fly

I have a friend who buys handmade, beautiful guitars in Belfast, Northern Ireland and then brings them back to the US, where he resells them for a small profit. They are gorgeous guitars with a crisp and wonderful sound. Handmade, the artisan cuts and sands each piece of the instrument. He makes it for a purpose: to be played, to be heard, and to be enjoyed.

There's a word in Hebrew that has been transliterated "shalom". It's a rich word, with a depth of meaning not mirrored in any English word. In the midst of telling his people that they would spend 70 years in captivity - in a city not there own, where they are called to "seek the welfare of the city" (v.7) and the people in it - God, through the prophet Jeremiah, says this after giving this bleak message:

For I know the plans I have for you,

declares the LORD,

plans for welfare and not for evil,

to give you a future and a hope.

(Jeremiah 29:11, ESV)

The word "shalom" is there in the middle. Here it's translated as "welfare". It's also been translated "prosper" (NIV, NET), "peace" (KJV, ASV), and "good" (NLT). This is a verse that, throughout the centuries, Christians have held to as a reminder that God has a purpose for our lives - both individually and corporately.

It's no surprise. Two of the things that bring me joy and confidence in my relationship with Christ - and two questions that I think everyone has - are: What's my worth? Am I important and/or valuable as an individual? and, second, What's my purpose? Do I have a purpose for being here, other than trying to survive? It's the second of these that this verse answers so strongly - that God has a purpose for us and not just any purpose, but one that brings hope and a bright future.

Back to "shalom". Swanson, in his Dictionary of Biblical Languages with Semantic Domains: Hebrew, further defines "shalom". He adds: completeness, health, satisfaction, wholeness, and contentment. There's so much to this word. Now look back at the verse from Jeremiah. This "shalom", this completeness, wholeness and contentment is what God desires for us. Not only that, it's the plan He has for us.

Like the guitar maker in Belfast, God, as Creator, made us for a specific purpose. He made us - in all our intricacies - carrying the analogy of the guitar, to make music beautifully and uniquely - we're one of a kind. And He, in His plans, wants us to be there. He made us to fly.

Waiting to Fly

It's a call to trust. To trust that God's plans are at work and to trust His heart and His character - that He loves us so much that He wants us to fly the way He made us to. It's taking ahold of the "abundant life" that is ours when we trust in Jesus Christ and allow Him and the Triune Godhead to lead and guide us. Like God's people in Babylon, it's a call to "seek the welfare" of the job, the company, and the place where we are, whether we enjoy it or not - waiting for God's plans to be fulfilled. It's being diligent in the now, right where God has us, trusting that, if we'll trust and follow God's voice and His leading, He knows how He's going to get us to that "sweet spot". It's that place where, as He watches us fly, we'll feel God's joy and smile, as He watches us do what He made us for. Content, whole, satisfied.

I'm waiting to fly and, in the meantime, I'm going to give the best I have to give. I'm waiting on my Heavenly Father, my God, to guide me to that sweet spot.

Life Update:Wedding, Summer, & Oxford

2010-04-13T15:14:00.001-07:00

Words on paper,

thoughts in writing,

the crazy clouds of my mind

settled, still, and visible.

For weeks now, I've missed writing. I've journaled more these last few weeks than I have in a long time. Even though I'm journaling, I miss writing for school or to share a lesson I've learned in following Christ or to simply put thoughts spinning around in my head on paper. I have missed it.

I've been working on my budget (thank you Mint.com) and pre-marital counseling homework tonight. I didn't want to call it a night just yet. There are lots of things I've wanted to write about over this last week and these last months, but tonight I simply want to write a life update.

Wedding - Less than 8 weeks ago, I asked Lauren Marie Raikes to be my wife. The frenzy of January and February, getting ready for the engagement and the anticipation of placing that ring on her finger, seem a faint blur on the horizon of my memories. And yet, they are incredibly sweet memories: planning the details of the proposal, picking up the ring from the store, and hoping she caught a glimpse, in those things, of the depth and richness of my love for her - both my bubbling, giddy school-boy love and the fullness of my commitment to pursue & love her every day of my life. It's hard to believe we're now less than 7 weeks away from the wedding. In the midst of wedding planning, pre-marital counseling, and trying to see each other as much as possible (living 300 miles apart) - some days (and weeks) feel as though we're barely holding on to France's TGV bullet train, leaving romantic Paris and speeding towards the beautiful port of Marseille.

Summer - I am looking forward to the wedding celebration on May 29th. After that, I'm taking 2 weeks off for our honeymoon. Two weeks to spend with my best friend, my new wife, and the life-long companion God seems to have so custom-made for me. It's hard to know what it will even be like. Thoughts of the future are full of sweet and wonderful unknowns. Having seen confidently God's hand at work this last year in bringing us together - and His hand at work even now in wedding plans - it's an adventure I can't wait for! Chasing, together, after a Savior and a God who has shown Himself completely faithful - calling us to simply continue following hard after Him. He's already providing in huge ways with housing for June & July!

Oxford - We're going for it! There are lots of things we don't have yet - important things, like money, housing, and plane tickets. What we do have is a growing confidence of God's leading and a peace that following Him is worth it. Over the last several months, God's brought both Lauren & I to a point where we feel like this is the open door God wants us to pursue. He's given both of us a passion for Kenya and a desire to tell others about life in Africa. He's given Lauren the dream of staying at home and raising kids and provided a way for me to earn a degree that would allow me to provide for a family and He continues to give me favor with leaders in African history at Oxford.

There's a lady, she worked in France as a missionary for the better part of 20 years, who once told me,

"Daniel, too often I think we stand around waiting for a green light from God. More often than not, I think God wants us to get up and go, and trust Him for the red light if it's not where He wants us. Trust Him to guide, but be courageous in pursuing opportunities."

I've never forgotten that challenge. So, Lauren & I are pursuing this open door. God may close it. If He does, we've lost nothing. If it's where He wants us and we didn't pursue it, we've lost an adventure He had dreamed for us and a chance to trust Him for big things.

All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

It's an incredibly exciting time in life. Following Christ, my Savior and my Lord, continues to be a mind-blowing, culture-defying adventure! It's not always sunshine and beautiful days, but, in 26 years, I have found that it is always worth it. Whether He's with me in the mud, helping me grow in determination and faith, or in the sun, holding my arms open wide in a smile big enough to hang the world on, Jesus Christ has shown himself true to His word:

that he will never leave me, nor forsake me.

(Hebrews 13:5)

The Engagement!!

2010-02-20T17:02:00.001-08:00

Check out the Facebook album for comments on the photos!

Pursuit

2009-11-28T05:45:00.000-08:00

Pursuit. Everyday, all around the world, people pursue the car, the experience, the beauty, the knight in shining armor, the job, the house, the latest fashion, the newest technology...the dream that captivates them. What is it that gets us out of bed in the morning? For most, that dream they're pursuing. It's the reason they can bear the job or manager that drives them crazy. It's how they get themselves out of bed before the sun's risen outside. It's the lack of a pursuit that makes our days miserable to get through.

Pursuits. They captivate our imaginations, fuel our daydreams, and drive our ambitions. They're a powerful thing. Think of the women and men who have changed the world because of the passions they have pursued. Martin Luther King Jr. Mother Theresa of Calcutta. Billy Graham. Steve Jobs. The list goes on. The truth in nearly every business book is that we rarely accomplish anything we're not pursuing and we rarely (if ever) have the perseverance to pursue something we're not passionate about. We pursue things that make us come alive, that consume our thoughts, our imagination, and our time.

What if we were someone else's passion, their pursuit? What if thoughts of us consumed their imagination, their thoughts, their time? What if we were the ones that made them come alive? What if you, what if I, were the ones that fueled another's passion? What if we were the thing that drove them to accomplish their goal - us? People in passionate pursuit of something will give up anything for it. How many entrepreneurs give up countless hours of sleep, money, energy, and their lives to accomplish what they're pursuing? It's a truth, not an exaggeration, that the people listed above 'gave their lives' for their passions - not just by dying for them (in the case of MLK Jr.), but more importantly, living for them.

Now, put those two pieces together. What if you were what someone was pursuing? What if you meant so much to them, that they were willing to give everything for you? Their sleep, their time, their money - their very lives. It's why loves stories captivate us so much. It's what we all long for - to know that we mean so much to someone else that they'd be willing to lay down their lives for us. It's what women dream of - a man who will pursue them and give everything for them. It's what men hope for - a woman they can give their life for, knowing that she'll give her life for him. Both long to be the desire and pursuit of another.

C.S. Lewis made the point that what we see, experience, feel in this world is simply a taste, a vapor, a spark of what's true of the next. This world simply echoes and reflects that which is eternal, unmarred by our greed, jealousy, or bad choices. It blows my mind to realize that we are what God is pursuing, that we are what He is passionate about. God's passionate pursuit of me is is greater than anything I'll ever experience or see on this earth. If men and women can give up their sleep, their time, their money, and their lives for their pursuits - God's pursuit of me has been, is, and continues to be even greater than that. The God of the universe, who doesn't need me, gave up so much to pursue me. Jesus gave up his place in heaven to come to earth. He went from being fully-God, to being fully-God and fully-man, taking on the form of us - humanity. He fixed himself to one place by taking on a bodily form - no longer God, everywhere all at once. He gave up his status as the ruler of the universe to be born in a manger. He gave up his desire to be spared the cross to be obedient to his Father - knowing that it was only by His death, a perfect, final sacrifice (Heb 9-10), that God would be able to have a relationship with us - the object of his pursuit ever since the world began. Unlike others, his life wasn't taken from him. He willingly laid it down to pursue me. He was the greatest of entrepreneurs. The most passionate of pursuers. He gave everything - both in life and in death - for his passion, a relationship with me and you. That we might know Him, as He knows us.

And then, at the end of it all, he left it up to us. It wasn't even a sealed deal. He pursued it as far as he could and then he left the final step up to us. We have the freedom to step towards him, or to step away. But he's given everything to pursue us. We, you and me, who captivate his thoughts and have fueled everything he's done since the creation of this world - we are his great pursuit. It's the power behind a truth they teach in Sunday School:

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through Him." (John 3:16-17)

It's why the story in the Bible is so powerful and has rung true throughout the millenia, and continues to. It's the great pursuit. It's the most powerful romance story - of a lover who has given it all for the one He loves. And He's done it all so that we might know him - as we know our friends, our family, and the ones we love - intimately, resting in their love, their grace, and the delight they have for us.

Know that God's crazy about you. He's been passionately pursuing you since the beginning of the world and he continues to. You are his great delight and He desires, so much, to be in a relationship with you, for you to rest in the fact that he's absolutely crazy about you - and that his grace and love is absolutely sufficient for every excuse and reason you could possibly make up for why He shouldn't love you. Give it up, you're in a loosing battle! ;-) He's crazy about you and no excuse you make or secret your reveal will scare him away or surprise him. He's been passionately pursuing you since you were born and He's not about to give up!

'500 Days of Summer' & LOVE :-)

2009-08-28T07:44:00.000-07:00

Ben Witherington III, a fantastic New Testament Pauline scholar just blogged on the new film '500 Days of Summer.' I haven't seen the film yet, but his review makes me really interested to:

http://blog.beliefnet.com/bibleandculture/2009/08/500-days-of-summer---and-then-some.html

I really liked what he had to say about love. It rings true with what I've come to believe, that love isn't a search for THE right one - but finding someone you'd be willing to give everything in your life for. Here's what he said. See what you think:

'I must come clean at this point and say, I am no fatalist or Calvinist. I don't believe I was destined from before the foundation of the world to marry some one particular other person. Indeed, I would say the nature of true and real love precludes such a notion. Real love is freely given and freely received, whether it is divine or much more mundane love. It can't be forced, manipulated, coerced, predetermined or otherwise destined.

What I do believe is in the providence of God and in God's leading. I do believe God can lead you into right possibilities, but what you do with them is another matter. Love is about wooing and winning, about allowing yourself to be led and persuaded. Its not about one person making another an offer they inherently can't refuse. And if it was like that, if it was like something as inevitable as gravity, it wouldn't be true love. It might be a strong attraction like gravity, but it wouldn't be love. Love is not like a magnet and iron filings, its a personal interchange between two personal beings in which both are treated as persons of sacred worth due respect, both are treated as free agents, both are treated as God's special creatures. And yes, both are treated as sexual persons, not sex objects. The objectifying of the other person is a sin, as it reduces the other person to a sum of their body parts. It also leads persons in a desperate quest for 'enhancements'. The coup de grace for me recently was hearing a father rationalize that the best high school graduation gift he could give his daughter was breast implants! Sure, if the goal is helping her attract all the wrong sort of guys. On this theory all a wonderful car really needs to better appeal is bigger headlights.*'

*A new ad campaign for a used car company in Northern Ireland just came out that uses this same comparison of choosing a woman based on her breasts like you would a car on it's headlights. I wanted to throw-up, just like this dad's comment makes me sick to my stomach.

17 Life Changing Things Other People Have Told Me

2009-04-03T11:35:00.001-07:00

Over the last few months, a 'list of 25 random things' went around in which the author was to write 25 random things about them and send it on to friends. To be honest, I got a bunch of them, read a couple, but just wasn't a fan so never took the time to fill it out.

However, as I've been working on homework today and thinking about things, I decided that I was curious about putting together a list of things other people have told me that have shaped and continue to shape who I am. So, here goes my attempt at 17 key things others have said to me that have shaped my life:

1. 'Keep the main thing the main thing.' - my youth pastor, Rob Shiflet, told me this. I know he didn't coin it, but it'll always make me think of him. It's been a good reminder for me to focus on what's fundamental about our faith, not what's secondary.

2. 'Give thanks in all circumstances.' - an older brother, Doug Holcomb, of a best friend of mine from 9th grade, Philip Holcomb, told me this one night when I was spending the night with his family and he and I had decided it was too good of an African night to not spend the night on the roof. So we did, and Doug shared with me how he had made the most of moving to Kenya his senior year of high school. It's exactly what I needed before heading back to the US and carried me through a really rough few years adjusting to the US.

3. 'Healthy things become unhealthy in the extreme.' - my dad was heavily influenced by his friendship with Neil Anderson, who put forward this idea that most things are healthy until they're taken to the extreme. This idea of moderation has formed the basis of almost all of my thinking from alcohol to school work.

4. 'Don't doubt in the dark what God's shown you in the light' - my dad didn't coin this, but he's been really good to remind me of it throughout my life.

5. 'Your curiosity will carry you far.' - Uncle Wayne Daniel's told me this once when I was standing at his elbow asking all sorts of questions as he soldered something. It's been a huge encouragement to keep asking questions.

6. 'Jesus stopped and listened to her whole story.' A gentleman named Doug, used to be President of Youth For Christ (maybe it was another organisation), but now works with politicians in DC, told me this in reference to Christ stopping and listening to the women who had been bleeding for 12 years. While I'm not sure it's faithful to the text, it's faithful to who Christ was and continues to be my reminder to try and slow down and listen to people.

7. 'Context, context, context.' - I am forever indebted to Dr. Castleman, Dr. Vila, and Dr. Blankenship for 'pounding' this into our heads in Biblical Studies. It has tremendously shaped the way I understand Scripture and the way I study history.

8. 'Geeze Daniel, I didn't bring my sunglasses today.' - My 7th grade history teacher (who I remember very fondly) and my friends who loved to tease me about my white legs. I wore shorts to school one day and remember a couple of them saying this when I came into history class that day. To this day, you won't see me wear shorts very often, maybe they've saved the world in their own little way. :-)

9. 'Please and Thank You should always be a part of our speech' - Uncle Henri Aoun, an amazing missionary from Lebanon who now lives in Paris with an incredible family (I'm fortunate to call his two kids, John and Lily, good friends), told a group of us on a mission trip this once. I'm not good at following it, but it does continue to always come to mind.

10. 'Sometimes Daniel, I think we should wait for God to give us a red light, rather than a green light. Too often we sit around waiting for God to give us the go ahead, when He's saying "Get going and trust me to stop you!"' - Diana, one of the sweetest lady's I've ever known in my life told me this. She, in fact, was one of the high points of my year in California. She'd been a missionary in France for years with Uncle Henri, so she and I would greet each other in the morning in my poor French - which usually ended after 'how are you', because I didn't know any more. This encouragement has been what has spurred me on to try so many of the different things I've had the opportunity to do (including being here in Northern Ireland).

11. 'Take your pictures, print them out in black and white, and put them up in your house. Then when people come over you can tell them about your trips, and you can remember them.' - the janitors and workers at all of my jobs have always been some of my best friends. My year in California was no different. The African-American gentleman (gosh, I wish I wasn't so bad with names!) who came and cleaned our building would always stop and talk to me, since I often worked late. I loved those conversations. Well, he had put pictures up in his house like this, so he encouraged me to do the same. It's been one of the best things I've ever done to remember what incredible opportunities God's given me.

12. 'Now Daniel, his other two friends have both walked out of his life when he told them this.' - In college, a dear friend of mine told me that he struggled with homosexuality. I remember being given the above warning by some of our mutual friends and it broke my heart. Not that I would ever walk away from a friendship because of this, but it broke my heart. Having been teased in high school because people assumed I was homosexual, this just reaffirmed my conviction to be one who would love at all times.

13. 'Oh man, I was hoping you were going to try out for the play. I was hoping to cast you.' - the theater director at my school in Kenya told me this my freshman year, the same year that I chose to go out for the basketball team, rather than theater, because it was more 'macho' (hey, it was the mind if a nerdy 15 year old :-). After that, I ended up being involved in theater and duet acting in both high school and college.

14. 'I've never had someone come and ask me what he could be doing to practice as much as Daniel. So he get's the [a name I haven't remembered since] award for hard working. At the same time, I've never seen someone say 'I'm sorry' so much on the court, so he also gets the Dr. Kavorkian award.' - this was the end of the year 'awards' party for the JV basketball team I was a part of my freshman year of high school. I've never remembered the compliment, but I've always remembered the Dr. Kavorkian award. I haven't played basketball since.

15. 'Pass Daniel the ball!' - Ms. Bressler, this amazing woman who was my driver's ed teacher and PE teacher in Kenya (as well as my volleyball coach), shouted this from the sidelines at a basketball tournament we were at where she had had girls playing field hockey. I had my hopes up that day because the coach had told me I'd get to play, but I hadn't played all day. Ms. Bressler starts shouting this from the other side of the court and I look at her, through eyes that I'm trying to hold back the tears of dissapointment in, and mouth 'what are you doing? I'm on the bench. They can't throw the ball to me.' To which she's says back, 'I know, that's the whole point. I want the coach to put you in.' Well, needless to say I got to play that game. I've never forgotten Ms. Bressler or her cheering me on that day - it continues to be a moment of great encouragement when I'm blue.

16. 'We're going to do some karaoke and we're going to invite someone up. Daniel Ostendorff, come on up.' - by far, this night at FSM (youth group), was one of the most embarrasing moments of my life when Bobby Girard, the worship pastor and a man I very much respect, called me up, and I tried to sing 'I'm going deeper' - but was so nervous that it was to a whole new tune, rythm, everything. After a few lines, Bobby said, 'Alright, freestyle!' because I was so far off! :-) It has continued to be a funny memory for Justin Adams, Josh Connolly, and all my other friends that I still get to see from FSM.

17. 'The future can be either scary or exciting, just depends on how you look at it.' - a JBU friend, Lauren Raikes, told me this a couple of weeks ago. Not only was it what I needed to hear as I was thinking about what God might have planned, but it's continued to be on my mind since then. It really is a great reminder - if I look at life as God is the one in charge, then it's totally exciting! But, if I'm the one trying to lead the charge, it can get very scary, worrying about what's next. I have no doubt this will be one that will stick with me for years.

There are so many more than this. This is what I was able to come up with tonight, but the reality is that anyone who's reading this has had a significant impact on my life, almost exclusively (with rare exceptions in a few people) for the good. Thanks so much!

Governor Palin and State Politics

2009-02-09T04:00:00.000-08:00

For those of you that watched the Superbowl, you saw the above spot with Governor Sarah Palin that came on. When it did, one of my friends wasn't too excited, to say the least. :-) Which led into a short conversation about why it was that she wasn't excited about Sarah Palin. We were both really exhausted after a long couple of days, so the conversation didn't go very far - but, summed up, this friend disagreed with most all of Palin's policies (drilling in ANWAR, purchasing of rape kits, etc.) and thus, really, really just doesn't like Palin.

That all led me into ruminating over the last couple of weeks on the idea of State politics and the main purpose of a Governor. A Governor's purpose is to meet the needs of the citizens of their state. To do the best job governing them they can do. During the election, Palin had a 90% approval rating as Governor, the highest of any Governor in the country and, perhaps, the highest of any state official. That tells me that, for her constituency, the people who elected her, she's doing something right. In fact, to think that she won the gubernatorial elections with 48% of the vote, the high approval rating a year and a half later is incredible.

This weekend, an article came out about actress Ashely Judd's outcry against the wolf-hunting policy in Alaska. Several of the animal rights activists in the 48 states decry the policy as inhumane and, in Judd's words, 'It is time to stop Sarah Palin and stop this senseless savagery.' The reality is that the policy in place is limited to Alaskan citizens who must obtain a permit and the numbers are closely monitored. The whole program is in place to protect the caribou and moose populations - the very populations the same group cries out about when it comes to drilling in ANWAR. I understand that it's the method they object with.

However, fundamentally, it's the question of, who under our Constitution, has the right to tell who what to do? Who's the 'top dog' in the constitution? Is this a country where the Federal Gov't can legislate it's views for the States? Or, do the states have protection from the government to put in place policies that are best for their people? It's the latter. The Federal government isn't supposed to legislate on anything outside of it's jurisdiction as set out in the constitution. Unfortunately, it frequently does.

Once again, another reason I'm a Republican. The best group of people to take care of the needs of a town or city are the elected officials over that town or city. The best officials over the state are the state's elected officials. The Federal government was created to protect the union of this country from inside threats and outside threats - not determine what's best for the states therein. It's also why I'm in full agreement with Republican pushes for Federal Tax cuts. Keep more money away from the federal government and you keep more money in your own state, meeting the needs of the citizens in your state, which includes you.

Okay, I'll step down off my soap box now...

Obama: How does Bipartisan Work?

2009-02-06T03:58:00.000-08:00

Quick post, since I really need to be doing some other work. I was reading Reuter's this morning on the Stimulus Package that the Dem's are trying to get through the Senate. There were some things that struck me.

*One of Obama's key ideas in his campaign was the end of partisanship. It seems that this stimulus package is the first test of that, because:

1. The bill passed the House, from what I understand, without a single Republican vote. It seems significant that there weren't even moderate Republicans that voted for it.

2. For the bill to pass the Senate, where it is currently, it only needs two Republican votes - yet it can't even get those from moderates. That also seems really significant.

So, while the ideal of bipartisanship seems a good one on the surface, the truth is that partisanship is there for a reason - because all the different parties see the answer to the country's problems in different ways. I refuse (it's the stubborn side of) to chalk this up to "Republicans don't want to vote for a Democratic bill." No, if it truly was something they were comfortable with, I imagine at least a few would have voted for it. It's in instances like that that I'm really glad our government is set up the way it is - that the partisan sides call each other into check. Thank you Founding Father's for checks & balances. :-)

Reuter's article: http://www.reuters.com/article/topNews/idUSN0142074920090206?feedType=nl&feedName=usmorningdigest

The Political Reasons I'm Never Getting Married (...or, the reasons I tell myself)

2009-02-03T13:51:00.001-08:00

I have this passion and desire to be in politics someday. Long story short, it's one of those things that comes from asking God why I've had some of the opportunities I've had, as well as why it is he gives me such favor with people...but, it's also one of the reasons I don't think I'll ever find a wife. Let me attempt to explain.

When it comes to politics and what I believe, I land pretty contrary to most of the conservative Christian right in which I grew up and for which I have a lot of respect.

Example 1
For example, I don't think the government should make a law that marriage should be heterosexual. For that matter, I don't think the government should make a law about marriage at all - heterosexual or homosexual. Marriage, as understood by the Church, is primarily a spiritual matter. 'Marriage' is a Judeo-Christian construct. Sure, other cultures have forms of union, but not to the spiritual depth of the triune relationship in marriage and the call to unshakable faithfulness that is to reflect the unshakable, unmovable faithfulness of the Father. I really believe the government should honor any union - and should call it a 'civil union' - because it's a government's recognition of two people coming together and vowing a commitment to one another, thus it's a civil agreement. I'm all for benefits coming from that for any union and serious costs coming to anyone for the breaking of that union. But, let's not call what the government recognizes 'marriage' - at least not as Christians. It is fundamentally different in its entirety (at least it ought to be, but that's a whole other thing and gets me into my anger at the lax approach to Christian divorce).

Example 2
Moving on, I couldn't disagree more with the idea that America is 'a Christian nation'. As such, I believe the government's job is to protect its citizens - which includes protecting its freedoms. That means protecting the freedom of both Christians and non-Christians. There are more than a handful of founding fathers that I wouldn't want to set foot behind the pulpit at my church because of their theology and doctrine. The founding fathers recognized a higher power on the most basic level, one for which they were all in agreement. It seems that they recognized it for the prime purpose of defending a person's humanity, dignity, and value, for having been 'indowed by their creator with certain inalienable rights.' It was what value this god gave people. It was not to be god as a defence to create a theocracy.

This leads me to two things:

*one, stop taking down the 10 Commandments around government buildings. It is a historical document upon which most of the Western world's judicial systems are based. Congress convenes under a image of Moses that is seated right in front of the Speaker, along with a host of other historical figures for which Western judicial constructs are deeply indebted. For Christians it's a deeply spiritual thing with ramifications in what Christ came and did - but for non-Christians, it's the recognition - like Locke's work or any other political philosopher - of a historical part of the development of our judicial system. It has nothing to do with separation of church & state - so stop making up conspiratorial connections that are ridiculous.

*secondly, the Church needs to step up and be the Church, irregardless of what the world says. If the government recognize homosexual civil unions, that doesn't mean the Church has to. THAT is why there's separation of church and state, so that the state can't tell the Church what to do - so that the Church is protected.

That's what our founding father's were running from - but so often the Church feels like that gives it free reign to force its values and views on the country. The government's sole purpose is to protect the people and preserve the union of this country. Here's where the strong Republican and small government comes out in me. The gov't was never intended to administrate and organize everything. The Church was called to care for the widowed, the orphaned, the downtrodden. If the body of Christ was tithing 10% we would have no problem caring for the widows, the orphans, and providing free medical care to those who can't afford it - we'd have so much money. So, Church, 'Wakeup!' Let's start doing what we're called to do. For those of us who are Republican's, let's actually push for and act like we want a small government that doesn't hamstring our freedom - but let's not be guilty of pushing through laws that hamstring other's freedom either. Based off the job of government, the Republican party is not a 'Christian' party (neither is the Democratic party, for that matter) - but rather they're perspectives on how the government should function. Let the Church - not the State - be the driving force of compassion, provision, and good in our country - it's not a job the Federal Government was ever intended to do. And it costs us a whole lot more to have them do it (i.e. taxes, jobs, administrative costs, etc.).

So, all that to say....

Throw in the fact that I think alcohol, tobacco, the millenium/tribulation, women in leadership in the Church, etc. are all such secondary issues that they should never stop us from loving or building friendships with people - and I'm pretty much out of luck for a conservative Christian girlfriend.... :-)

Now, that's not true, but I thought I'd let you into this twisted little mind of mine that feels that, because I'm swimming against the stream of the majority of people around me that I'll be left standing alone at the end of the day.

I'm trusting God that he knows what he's doing and he'll provide someone someday that's just as committed to Jesus Christ as I am - and is either willing to put up with my crazy political views or has some crazy political views of her own....we'll just have to see. That's the crazy adventure I'm on and we'll see what God has in store.

(Oh, not to mention most of the above will also get me into a lot of trouble with the conservative Republican base if I ever actually do try to run for a political office...yikes!)

Disapproval Continued...

2008-12-31T12:18:00.000-08:00

Continuing along this discussion of disapproval, it seems to me a question that needs to be asked is "What is the purpose, or goal, of disapproval for a Christian? What role does it play in the life of the body and the life of the believer?" Most simply speaking, it is a call to repentance.

But what of repentance? What is repentance? Sure, we've all heard the discussion that it's a 180 degree turn in our actions or an acknowledgment that what we've done doesn't "hit the mark" or line up with what God's called us to. However we think of repentance or define sin, that which repentance acknowledges, it still hinges on an even more foundational question: what is the standard? What is it that we're supposed to be doing?

It's important that disapproval functions on the understanding of what ought to be. It seems to me that this is why Christ's disapproval was most verbal and vocal against the religious teachers. In his disapproval, he always called them back to something they knew, something in the Torah. In Luke 11, Jesus calls the Pharisees out on their tithing - for they tithe religiously, but they fail to keep their very own foundational prayer. Daily (often multiple times each day), Pharisees would recite Deuteronomy's command to "Love the Lord your God with all [...]" and to love your neighbor - a passage they would no doubt speak about in the synagogues - yet Jesus says, you "neglect justice and the love of God." It's this very thing - calling us back to what we know is right that is the purpose of disapproval in God's relationship with us and Scripture. It's why people are always guilty of sin, but they aren't expected to know better until they're made aware of the law - for the law shows them what life ought to be.

This is, I believe, why it's so very important to build raport with non-believers and seek to understand them. We can't call non-believers back to which they haven't accepted - so, instead, we build bridges into their world and call them to that which they already know. Disapproval here doesn't serve a function of "guilt" in the unbeliever. Rather, it must work in their own life to recognize their own inability to live up to their own standards of loving people and doing right by people. This is why the Holy Spirit changes people - not us! The Spirit is the one that works in them to be self-reflective, and in so reflecting they realize they can't even live up to their own moral code or ethic - thus realizing that they need Christ and the Spirit.

The disapproval of Christians is not an effective means to convicting a world of their sin. Rather, being involved in the life of non-believers, Christians are able to reflect lives where we can live up to our own ethic and moral code (strangely, it's an ethic and moral, when lived out, that the world looks in awe at) - but ONLY through the Holy Spirit - something the non-believer is incapable of. Thus, our lives become an example (or ought to be) of what we all strive for and a signpost to the need for the Holy Spirit. Disapproval doesn't lead to that self-realization, only relationships and trusting the Holy Spirit to work does.

Dissaproval & Love

2008-12-27T06:51:00.001-08:00

Disapproval doesn't change minds,
it hardens hearts.

My Aunt Kate, who isn't a believer, is in this weekend with her girlfriend, Nori. It's so great to see both of them and they're wonderful people. Having them here has highlighted my continuing journey this semester of what does it mean to "treat them as you would a non-believer" - the phrase that comes at the end of Matthew 18 in talking about confronting a brother about sin. What does it mean to love?

It seems to me that Christ reserved his harshest critiques and criticism for those in the church, while extending love and affirmation to those outside of it. He met with tax collectors, prostitutes, and Samaritans and spoke to them of where they were at.

As I've watched others, it seems that as Christians it's all to easily to critique the world. Well, duh, they don't get it. The things of Christ are foolishness to those who are perishing. I believe we need to be really, really cautious of criticizing a world from our playing field - from the perspective of the Triune God and the holiness of Scripture. When we do that, it seems to me that the unbelievers simply harden down in their position - because they don't see love in the exchange, only disapproval. At the same time, those believers giving the criticism also seem to harden in their position, feeling like they have to prove their point or change the other person (a role set aside solely for the Holy Spirit in Scripture).

Gotta run, but this is what I've been trying to work out in my own life. To love non-believers by connecting with them in their world - affirming the incredible gifts, talents, passions, and interests their Creator has imbued them with - and, after gaining a report with them, hoping for an opportunity to speak into their life words of wisdom and life change - but all the while, praying that Christ would shine through in my love and interest in them.

[Sorry it's been so long since my last post. Just been really, really nuts the last month. ]

Bush's Treatment by the American Public: An Article & Responses

2008-11-09T10:44:00.000-08:00

"To be sure, Mr. Bush is not completely alone. His low approval ratings put him in the good company of former Democratic President Harry S. Truman, whose own approval rating sank to 22% shortly before he left office."

In my own self-absorbed way of thinking about what thoughts others must have of me, I often come to the decision that they don't know quite what to do with me. I probably come across as naively idealistic and, now, in light of posts on Obama, all to willing to support him, ignoring the troubling policies or issues he may support.

I think, for one, rather than naivety, it's simply a continuation of who I am. I remember receiving from my high school Spanish teacher a note at graduation of congratulations that went on to say that she'd never heard anyone speak badly of me. A compliment and an encouragement - for I believe I'm called to respect, love, and honor everyone - even with whom I disagree or have very little in common.

It's as a result of that mindset that I'm committed to honoring those with whom I disagree at times (such as Barack Obama and the Democratic party platform) and encouraging others to do the same. Here's an article published by the Wall Street Journal this last week. I tend to agree with it's perspective that Bush has been undully mocked and disrespected. So, if nothing else, I don't want this to be said in 4 years about those of us who did not vote for Obama. May the review be, "They disagreed with him and the Democratic congress, but they always did it with deep respect that honored the President and those in power."

Here's the article at WSJ.com. Also, the emails/letters in follow-up to it are really good - albeit, lengthy. For what it's worth, enjoy!

Reading: The New GOP & Obama

2008-11-09T02:21:00.000-08:00

Reading "The Gaurdian" the other day, I came across a column that talked about the GOP party getting together to redefine itself. In fact, they've set up a website to get input from Republicans on what needs to happen. In all this discussion, I've also come across two books on what the "new" GOP party needs to look like. Here's links to articles on them. I'll likely pick up one of the two.

The Grand New Party: Republicans Can Win the Working Class and Save the American Dream

A New Kind of Conservative (I couldn't find a review, since the book is so new, but here's an excerpt from it at RelevantMagazine.com)

On the second note, Obama. While I didn't vote for Obama because of policy issues and what I believe is best for the country, now that he's my president I really do want to know more about who he is as a man - a man of faith, an African-American man, etc. The Faith of Barack Obama showed up in last month's Relevant Magazine. It's written by Stephen Mansfield, who wrote a well-reviewed biography on George W. Bush's faith, and is published by Thomas Nelson - an evangelical publishing company that has a reputation for publishing well. So, in order to understand Barack Obama more, this new president of mine for 4 years and to speak intelligently about who he is and in a respectful, honoring way with others over the next 4 years, I'm planning to pick this book up and see what Mansfield has to say.

Democrats vs. Republicans: Healthy Correctives?

2008-11-07T16:41:00.000-08:00

Came across several really interesting - and really good - articles on the elections, Christians, and Obama on my Google Reader feeds the other night. This one was particularly good - and then, particularly troubling, in the comment section.

Here's the link to the article. Read it if you get the chance. It's about what portion of evangelical/born-again believers voted for Obama and the role of Obama's religious life in his campaign. My prayer and my hope is that what Obama said is true of him and he lives up to it during his time in office. Particularly this part stuck out:

No Democrat since Jimmy Carter has spoken as openly, and as often, about his personal faith. In his Call to Renewal speech in 2006, Obama chastised some Democrats 'who dismiss religion in the public square as inherently irrational or intolerant, insisting on a caricature of religious Americans that paints them as fanatical, or thinking that the very word "Christian" describes one's political opponents, not people of faith.'

These were the two most recent comments at the end of the article:

To those who know God, we should have seen this coming. Whether we agree or not, we were given a reprieve to His judgement in 2000 for 8 more years. This time, we have foolishly voted for judgement on the whole country. Nothing for true believers to do now but fasten our seatbelts and brace for what is coming, as we also are guilty of doing nothing.

George W. Bush is a born again christian who has served this country well. But without our support in challenging the hatred unjustly focused on him, he faced an enemy of evil which made him ineffective, all a matter of plan by liberal democrats.

Starting with the lie about "no WMD's" the lies were never let up. But did anyone know there were hundreds of pounds of "yellow cake" uncovered years ago that Bush voluntarily kept secret and took the punishment on himself for top secret security reasons? The democrats knew it also, but continued to use it against him. Is it so hard to believe we are now under the judgement and the country is headed beyond the point of return to destruction? If it is God's will, so be it.

-----------

2 Chronicles 7:14 (New King James Version)
New King James Version (NKJV)
Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc.

14 if My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.

This is our option now and has always been. The ONLY way to stop this man is to pray. For GOD nothing is impossible. Satan has tricked many believers into voting for this man which also means they voted for abortion, homosexual mariage etc. They put their finances before GOD. A sad day indeed.

I have to be honest, as a born again, Jesus loving Christian, posts like this make me sad. I know people have freedom of speech - so I'm glad they can exhibit and I'll never try to supress it. However, what they say - in this case - can be discouraging. What do comments like this do for Christian evangelicals that voted for Obama (of which I'm not one) out of conviction? Neither candidate was "squeeky clean" - so what if they decided that (like the article above points out) that people voted for Obama in spite of his stance of homosexuality, abortion - because they believe he did a better job at meeting the needs of the widows, the orphans, and the downtrodden? (By the way, most economists argue that his financial plan sucks, so I don't believe that the main reason people voted for him) Caring for the widows, orphans, and downtrodden is something we are commanded to do THROUGHOUT Scripture in both the old and the new. Yes, God will never condone homosexual activity and I think abortion does break his heart - but those are things that the church can stand against - but what about what the Church stands for? We are called to reach out to the widows, orphans, downtrodden. No, I don't believe that the gov't is the best means for that, but I will respect other Christians who, in this case, voted out of their conviction of Scripture and their love for God.

There's a deep sadness in the comments as well. There's the sense that neither of these people have known and respected a Christian democrat. They've never learned to understand and appreciate - with the full freedom to disagree - someone else's viewpoint that shares their belief in God. It seems that their world is so small and they've only allowed themselves to experience and embrace a very narrow piece of the family of God.

So really, this idea that Obama is God's judgement on America? I don't see this as trusting God with our appointed leaders and this election. But more than that, it doesn't show respect for our fellow believers in Christ. It doesn't honor them and respect them - in spite of our disagreements. Heaven help us if all Christians were Baptist or Presbyterian - we would miss so much. Heaven help us if we were all Republican, because for the same reason - we would miss so much. Just as denominations are faulty, so are political parties and personal views on society and government - we serve in the family of Christ or the society of America as healthy correctives to one another.

A Friend's Post on Obama

2008-11-06T02:20:00.000-08:00

Here's a post from a friend of mine from junior high/high school in Kenya. I have the deepest of respect for both Danielle's faith and intellect. As you can see, we voted differently this election. I was telling a friend last night, this is what I love about having friends who see the world slightly differently then I do. Danielle sees things and knows things about Obama that I wasn't aware of - and it gives me great hope. I'm not a huge fan of Obama, but so many Christians that I respect did vote for him - so, because I respect them, I respect their choice, even if it was different from mine. And, just as I would have been praying for McCain through his presidency, I'll be praying for Obama - for wisdom and for strength - and with hope, that this is indeed a great time for America to respond to Darfur, reach out to the poor, see abortion rates decline, and more.

----------

It's a proud moment for all of us,

not only African Americans.

I am so excited about this day. I am excited to vote for someone who is concerned for the poor and who the poor, throughout the world, have voted for. I am excited to have voted for someone who knows something about Darfur and has not lost count of his houses. I am excited that this person has called Americans to sacrifice time and time again and that he continues to use unifying language. I am excited that the littles will grow up with a president who matches their skin tone. I am excited that people my age are interested and involved in politics.

My high school basketball coach wrote to tell me that Kenyan President Kibaki has declared Nov. 6 a national holiday to celebrate Barack Obama's victory. Have you ever heard of such a thing happening in response to the affairs of the other side of the world?

I don't agree with Obama about everything. I'm not in love with the man, nor do I place my hope in him. As a Christian, I don't expect to ever vote for a candidate with whom I completely align and agree. However, this does not diminish my excitement in the least over today's events. I think that the next four years will be easier for the hard core McCain loyals then it would've been if he had won. They are left to say at every bump in the road, I told you so, or should've voted for McCain. I hope that today does indicate a continuing trend of diminished partisanship and that people will heed both candidates' calls tonight towards unity and cooperation.

Yesterday's Vote: Today Brings Significant Change

2008-11-05T03:05:00.000-08:00

(Associated Press)

Staying up till 3:00am this morning watching the election coverage has me heavy-eyed this morning. But, here are a few thoughts on the election.

First of all, congratulations to Obama and to his campaign. As McCain said in his speech, and I agree with him, Obama deserves the utmost respect for his victory. He campaigned well, focusing on the states that meant a lot for him when it came to electoral votes. As well, as much as I don't align with his views and ideas for the country, I do believe that his election breathes some life and breath into the minority groups in the US - that the US is not a place where one can think that things will never change or they will never have a voice. To what extent Obama will be a voice for these minority groups is yet to be seen, but symbolically there is no doubt that it is a significant occasion.

It is significant that, while Obama won a landslide in electoral votes, the popular vote was close. Just as there was a weight placed upon President Bush to bring together a divided country, Obama (indeed, all of us) cannot forget that while he won the election, there are a significant number of people that did not cast their ballot for him. I hope and pray that they will now give him their respect and honor him as their elected president, but I hope that Obama goes on to earn their respect - for respect earned is more deeply significant than that which is due.

As most will note, this is also a significant occasion for the Democratic party, as they now have the majority in both the House and the Senate and now have the Executive office as well. While of course this is "scary" (to use words I've read all to recently in emails) for Republicans, the great beauty of this country is that it is a country where things change every 2 & 4 years. It is a country where the people can call their leaders to account. It is also a country where, while a congressman or congresswoman may be Democratic or Republican, they may often vote in contrary to the majority of their party - because they vote on their own conscience.

To Republicans, I believe this is the beginning of a significant time for them. I hope and pray that it sees the rise of young Republican's with a sharp intellect who can lead the way in the dialogue with Democrats on important issues - and through earned respect, make some significant headway in establishing the Republican image as one that is deeply thoughtful and responsibly vocal in the way they present their opinions and respect their opponents.

To those in the Republican party - both young and old - this election ushers in a time where they must step up to the plate and work harder then they ever have before. It is a time to present, in the best of ways - morally and ethically, an intelligent determination to what they think is best for this country . That the Republican party might become a party not scarred by scandal - as they have all too recently - but a party that earns everyone's respect (irregardless of their own party affiliation) for the way that Republican's carry themselves, conduct themselves, and interact with people from all different perspectives. Let this be the "kick in the pants," if you will, that makes honorable men and women out of a party that has lost much face in the last months.*

*No doubts there will be arguments as to whether or not face has been lost. I think the case is easily made. The scandal of Ted Stevens from Alaska. The lack of an intellectual response/reply to Obama's campaign and promise for change. The place of white supremacists in threatening murder and aligning themselves with the Republican party. The scare tactic phone calls and email forwards about Obama that are poorly researched or unapologetically misleading/misrepresentative of Obama. Yet, at the same time, there have been signs of Republican "honor" through the Republican (initial) opposition to the bailout plan, etc. By no means has the story of the Republican party in the past years been completely dismal, but it does seem that the armor has holes in it that need patching and there's a staggered step from one-to-many falls.

Give Us a King Like the Other Nations

2008-11-03T00:54:00.000-08:00

In following up to Daniel's comment on the last post, I agree, I too am ready for the ballots to be cast tomorrow, the decision made, and life to move on - God in control as He's always been, regardless of how the election turns out.

As I was thinking about the election the other day, this came to mind:

"Then all the elders of Israel gathered together and came to Samuel at Ramah and said to him [...] 'Now appoint for us a king to judge us like all the other nations.'" (1 Sam. 8:4-5)

I've come to the point where I've decided, if people truly want Barack Obama to be president, then let them have it (indeed, The Economist for this week communicates as though he's already won with the title "It's Time..." and Obama walking, humbly toward the camera). I think people will be surprised by what they actually get with him as President and I don't think it's going to be a good thing - but sometimes we only learn that what we wanted isn't good for us by getting actually getting that which we wanted.

Understand, I have nothing against Obama as a man. He's intelligent, thoughtful, kind, and well-meaning - I have no doubt about these. But, I don't think that he and his party's policies are healthy for the US economy and society. And, in the vein of the verse above, I feel like there is this idea - however slight or quiet it might be - that Obama is more like European leaders - trendy (in following the will of the people) and "a dweller of the gray area" (so you never quite know what he's thinking or what he actually believes) - and there's this call for "Give us a president like the other Western nations."

So, as I stay up tomorrow night way too late to watch the election results roll in, if the people begin crying for the "king" they think they want, then by all means, give it to them. It won't change the way I follow, love, or trust my Lord - so more power to them, and I'll keep step right behind this God who is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

It Continues...

2008-10-27T10:56:00.000-07:00

I can tell the elections are getting close by the amount of email & posts I'm getting & seeing that are don't necessarily exhibit the best intellectual or integrity levels in pre-election material. Here's a few to share with you:

The USSA (brought to you by USAWakeup.org) - this site, emailed to me, hosts a video about how the US is on its way to becoming the next social state with "Socialist Barack Hussein Obama" at the helm. I had thought about spending a few hours going through and addressing each of the points in this video - but really don't have the time. Needless to say, you'll see no acknowledgement of the Republican culpability for laws passed in this piece of propaganda. Now, less my ranting gets confused for support. Some of these decisions were awful and I do think that the $700 billion bailout is a move towards a more socialist society with the Gov't owning coorporations. However, criticism of others must come with a recognistion of our own culpability and, last time I checked, the US was still a two-party state and Republicans couldn't have all abstained from the actions mentioned and them still pass - so, if we're not where we want to be - to what degree have we, as Republicans, become accomplices in that? (not to mention, it's a little sketchy when a website like this is run by ONE person who refuses to be held accountable by interacting with others).

Christian Radio Banned on the Airwaves - it seems that there's been a revamped version of the earlier email that went around about petition 2493 saying that Christian broadcasts would be banned on the airwaves. While the copy I recieved referred to Joel Olsteen, Joyce Meyer, etc., the body of the email is the same content as this one. The basic story behind is that there was a petition named 2493 back in the 70s (?) that was around all of one year before being voted down. The idea in the bill was to protect frequencies set aside for Education from being used by anyone - including religious groups. Doesn't seem like there was any malicious intent targeted at Christians with this one.

A List of All the People Who Need Jesus - a fairly lengthy version of those banners that people hold on street corners. Interestingly enough, this one "loud mouthed women", "sports nuts", "Catholics" (to whom Protestantism owes a huge debt and with whom Luther never desired to fracture), P.K.'s (?? Pastor's Kids??), "effeminate men", and "high folutent* sophisticated swine", and, as my friend Cody points out, a creator who didn't know how to use apostrophe's currectly.

*sadly enough, in case there was any confusion, the use of "folutent" almost definitely means this is from the South or Midwest somewhere...as if we didn't have a bad enough wrap already with the KKK (who unfortunately align themselves with Christianity) and the "God Hate's Fags" group in Kansas.

Christians Shooting Themselves in the Foot

2008-10-25T12:05:00.000-07:00

MSNBC had this article on their website that a friend forwarded to me today. The article, entitled "Christian Right Steps Up Attacks on Obama", goes on to point out moves by Focus on the Family Action, Charisma (Pentocostal magazine), and the Christian Anti-Defamation Commission to use scare tactics against Obama's popularity - while spending most of the time on Focus on the Family Action's "Letter from 2012 in Obama's America". Here's a couple of exerts for you:

"Terrorist strikes on four American cities. Russia rolling into Eastern Europe. Israel hit by a nuclear bomb. Gay marriage in every state. The end of the Boy Scouts."

"Among the claims:

A 6-3 liberal majority Supreme Court that results in rulings like one making gay marriage the law of the land and another forcing the Boy Scouts to "hire homosexual scoutmasters and allow them to sleep in tents with young boys." (In the imagined scenario, The Boy Scouts choose to disband rather than obey).
A series of domestic and international disasters based on Obama's "reluctance to send troops overseas." That includes terrorist attacks on U.S. soil that kill hundreds, Russia occupying the Baltic states and Eastern European countries including Poland and the Czech Republic, and al-Qaida overwhelming Iraq.
Nationalized health care with long lines for surgery and no access to hospitals for people over 80."

It's unbelievable to me that Christians would (A) write this kind of stuff and (B) be proud of it. Explain to me, how does this coincide with Paul's call for us to deal with people "with all gentleness" that we see in Phil 4 and Titus 3? How does this communicate love and respect for people - especially with those we disagree? How is this loving our enemy? Come on people!

The spokeswoman for Focus on the Family responded with this:

"The goal was to "articulate the big picture," said Carrie Gordon Earll, senior director of public policy for Focus on the Family Action. "If it is a doomsday picture, then it's a realistic picture," she said."

Are you kidding me?!! Who thinks that Obama's really going to do all this? The guy hasn't done much in his career up to this point - I promise you, he's not going to squander the country in four years. Four years that are likely to be very unproductive.

But bottom line, regardless of Obama's politics and rhetoric, we, as Christians are called to so much more than this. We are called to be Christ and Christ's ambassadors to the world. So, to those who have chosen to take the "low road" like the groups above - thank you for the damage you've done to those of us Christians who are trying to build bridges into a liberal world that needs to be respected and honored before they'll ever listen to us. Thank you for not being what Christ called us to. Thank you for using your voice - that could be significant - for something that, five years from now (if not sooner) isn't going to matter. Thank you for deciding that, because God's not in control, you needed to resort to these kinds of tactics/measures to "save the world."

Oh wait...didn't Christ do that 2,000 years ago? Isn't his Kingdom advancing and the gates of hell won't prevail in stoppping it?

So, in the words of a friend of mine, "This is why it is I don't want to be associated with Christians when it comes to political matters."

Fun in the Workplace: A Google Example

2008-10-21T01:51:00.000-07:00

“ With a little creativity, some motivation, and a culture that embraces fun (and food!) as a necessary component of our work, inspiration will flow, and spirits (and blood-sugar levels) will run high. One proof point: Recession-Proof Brownies.
—

Official Google Blog: A Googlicious time

I am deeply convinced that a workplace like this (that embraces fun - and maybe food) is both a much more effective workplace as well as a place that retains it’s staff at a higher level of performance. There’s enough of the “old gaurd” still managing businesses, that I don’t expect this to become widespread any time soon (although it’s growing with companies like Gore-tec and Semler Co).

404 Error Page & Religions

2008-10-19T07:42:00.001-07:00

Just saw this on a friends blog. Incredible and evidently a real page that some got. Enjoy!

Water + Mac = Bad Day

2008-10-09T14:02:00.001-07:00

As the title suggests, my computer's out of commission for a while. I was cramming this afternoon for some reading that I hadn't finsihed and spilled half a mug of water all over my computer. YIKES!!

Needless to say, after trying to dry it out this afternoon, it wouldn't turn on. I'm going to take it apart tomorrow and dry it piece by piece, and we'll see if that helps. Chances are (esp. since I tried turning it back on and it didn't work) that it's fried.

Blog posts will be scarce for a while, as will email, and facebook (although recently, it has been really scarce and I'm way behind on it. Sorry!).

I'm trying to figure out what to do. Here's my options, let me know what you think:

1. Dry it out tomorrow, turn it on, it works, and we're back to normal. Of course, this is the best scenario, but the one that I can't really make a decision to change (other than try to dry it out).

2. Go without a computer. Jack doesn't have a laptop and just does everything he needs to in the computer labs. This is appealing in the sense that I would not be in my room so much...but not very appealing in the sense that it means Skype and IM are pretty much out of the question - and it effects storing pictures and music as well.

3. If it's shot, buy a new computer with money I don't have. Either I'd be paying for it on my student loans (that haven't quite come through yet) or putting it on a credit card and paying it off with student loans over the year (I get them in three installments). While the idea of going into debt for a computer (again) isn't exciting, I did have my last Mac for 4 years (this month, actually). Which leads me ot another question - do I buy something cheap that will work (say $500) or do I buy another Mac that I know I'll use for years (for closer to $1000)....I don't know!

Thoughts? Opinions? Similar stories of woe from your computer getting fried?

I Love It!

2008-10-06T14:46:00.000-07:00

[I originally posted this on the other site for my year in N. Ireland, but wanted to blog it here as well. Since it really reflects on much of my whole life, I thought it fitting to post here too.]

I just got back from the Christian Union not too long ago. I can't tell you how much I love being with other believers. I know that sounds like a cheesy, Christian card, but I really do. I get excited on Saturdays about church on Sunday. I had a great time at Communion Sunday morning, hanging out with believers at the Carson's house for lunch, and going to Sunday night service at Fisherwick. Then, on top of that, the CU tonight. Really, I think I'm a Church junkie...

On a more serious vein of thought with all of this though, I've been reflecting on the family of God around the world. I often find myself wondering why it is that God's given me the opportunity to travel to over two dozen countries, as young as I am. I still don't know all the reasons - but I know for me it has become a huge piece in the foundation of my faith and my understanding of it. Whether I've been at a church service in Zagreb, Prague, Fortaleza (Brazil), Bangkok, Paris or elsewhere, being with the family of God, worshiping has been similar in all corners of the world. At times the language, style, and form is different, but the heart, passion, and presence of God is always evident wherever I've been.

Having seen the people of God passionate for Him the world over, I don't worry about God's Kingdom advancing. The reality of "His Kingdom come, His will be done" is taking place each day, changing lives, changing communities, and bringing glory to the Father in every part of the globe.

In the same vein, no matter what country I've been in, I've always felt as though I was with family. Spending the afternoon at Robert & Diana Carson's on Sunday with Naomi (N. Irish), Nialls (Irish), Edwin (Dutch), Spencer (US), Vasco (Italian), Jack (US), and Robyn (US) was incredible. None of us had known each other for more than a couple of weeks - most for only a couple of hours - yet we came together (Anglican, Presbyterian, Catholic, Bible church, etc) and simply enjoyed each other's company. It's been the same experience for me wherever I've gone.

I've come to believe that this is unique to the body of Christ. My non-Christian friends here simply don't have any other similar structure to which they can fit in - so, no matter where they're going, they begin their relationships from scratch. I hope and trust that they'll see something different, something appealing in the family of God and Christ in and through them this year.

My Thoughts on Obama/McCain

2008-09-30T02:35:00.000-07:00

I was thinking about the candidates yesterday and thought perhaps it was time to share a few of my thoughts. By no means are these the entirety of my thoughts on the candidates, nor do I consider my discovering of who they are, what they stand for, and whether or not I will vote for them complete. I'll try to mention below the things that I am still looking for in this whole process.

BARACK OBAMA

Pros: Obama is one of the most charismatic leaders the US has seen in years (maybe Reagan or Nixon being the most recent and similar?). In that sense, Obama plays powerfully on the international scene as a state representative. In some ways, if we were like Germany where the President is really just a figurehead, then this would be a very strong draw for me towards Obama. Obama also, at least in talk, points out the need for advice and a discussion of experts on issues. This I can agree with and support - with the caveat that it doesn't become an excuse for inaction or become too slow to react in the time that is necessary. As Jack pointed out yesterday, I tend to agree with Obama that we are not a "Christian nation" (yes, Christianity has had a significant impact on the nation, but there are way too many of the founding Father's I would never want in my pulpit), but rather are a nation of diversity and therefore our understandings and arguments must come from a common foundation of logic and reason.

Cons: Obama's campaign has been run on the idea of "change". However, I don't see a history of bringing about change. Perhaps I haven't been reading in the right places, but it seems like the party would tout the long resume of changes that Obama has brought through his lifetime and political life. However, I haven't seen this from them and so I question whether or not Obama would actually bring the change that he aptly notes is needed. I'm also quite troubled by the people that Obama surrounds himself with. I'm all for developing relationships with those that see the world different then us, but his close relationships with the leaders in Chicago, his old pastor, and now the news that members of his party are trying to influence radio stations to not play McCain adds troubles me. Is there a sense here that Obama might be one to keep his hands clean, but surround himself with those who don't mind getting theirs dirty? I know this may be unfair in its entirety, but the caution I think is justified.

Questions I Still Am Looking for Answers to: What change has Obama enacted and brought about? Where is a record of actively bring about change when needed? Who is Obama going to surround himself with as we get closer to Nov? Who is he likely to pick for his cabinet? Who will have the ear of the president if he is voted into office? Why does Biden continually seem to stick his foot in his mouth? Is he really the international expert that he is touted as?

JOHN MCCAIN

Pros: Unlike Obama, it seems to me that McCain is a very active force in Washington. I don't get the feeling that he simply goes to Washington and shows up for votes, but that he is active - whether it's meeting with the president, traveling internationally, etc. This, I feel, confirms the fact that McCain would actually be a very active agent for change as the President (note, this does not mean that I think all the change he might bring would be change I would agree with). I also very much respect the way that McCain has brought people around him that are different than him - but respectable in their own right. Joe Liberman for example - a man I don't think I would vote for, but I can respect. McCain's years of experience - both in the military and in Washington - are strengths in my eyes. When one chooses the CEO of a company, they want a person with experience, knowledge, and a long history of knowing the ins and outs of the way the company works. I'm not sure the Presidency should be any different.

Cons: McCain's impetuous and quickness to speak concerns me. When in view of the international world, will he represent the US well? Will he speak with discernment and wisdom? It also poses a concern for me in action. Will McCain settle for the advice of a few, while not taking the time to bring together the voices of many experts and here differing viewpoints? Or, even worse, will McCain shoot from the hip on issues, when he truly does need the input of others?

Note: Because the issue of Sarah Palin comes up in every discussion I've had with people here in Belfast, it seems an appropriate issue to address. There are a couple of concerns with me when it comes to Palin. Experience and how conservative she is. On the experience note, yes, I will agree with almost anyone that if McCain died in the first year or two of office that we would be in for a really trouble situation with her as President - a situation that I would not be comfortable with. If McCain were to die in his third or final year as President, I agree with recent newspaper articles, that she would likely have as much ability as most in Washington to lead. However, the truth is that I don't think McCain will die anytime soon. He seems like a hearty man who continues to charge ahead. Sure, it's possible, but with the doctor's clean bill of health and the rigors of the campaign process not seeming to take too great a toll on him - I think he can handle the Presidency. On the fears of her conservative issues, I do worry that pressure from those in the Conservative Right would push her to pass Christian/moral issues into law. This is a huge concern for me - I believe the Church is called to be the moral change agent in society, through the Spirit, not the State. However, at this point, I don't see any of the work she did in Alaska as pushing a religious agenda - but rather, pushing through laws that protect and benefit everyone, regardless of creed or belief.

Questions I am Still Looking for Answers to: Will McCain continue to weather the campaign trail well? What will his doctors be saying in late October? Who will McCain bring around him that will likely form his cabinet? How ready is he to listen to others for input and knowledge? How does he answer questions in debates - with humility or with a cocky "shoot from the hip" poise? What role will Palin come into the in the coming month? Will she continue to be held back by the advisors? If so, what will her role be as VP? Is she just a ornament, or will she be an effectual leader?

In Closing...

So, again, by no means is this conclusive of my thoughts or concerns when it comes to the upcoming election, but it is what's going through my head. As you can probably tell, I am leaning towards a McCain/Palin ticket. Right now that is for two reasons:

1) My concerns with Obama's record of bringing about change and the people he is connected with.

2) My overall uneasiness with the Democratic parties perspective that the Gov't should provide lots of social services and support to society. I tend to agree more with the Republicans that the Gov't should be small* (in turn, I think the Church should provide social supports).

However, I am concerned with the Republicans tendency to, while not provide money to society, want to give it a moral code/Christian ethic through laws. In some ways, I really dislike the hypocrisy I see in a "small Gov't" stance that pushes so heavily to legislate morality. For example, when it comes to homosexual marriage - let the gov't sanction marriage if they want - but let the Church stand for what it believes in it's own institutions. Just because the gov't will marry a homosexual couple, doesn't mean the Church has too. So, let homosexuals get public benefits in a secular state, but uphold the Church's convictions to marriage.

*Granted, I'm troubled by the current bail out for the economic market and that package. Although it didn't pass the house, the influence/power that this would give the gov't over industry seems closer to communism's gov't control then a free, capitalistic market. However, it seems to me that the current bailout plan of $700 billion is being pushed by both the Dem's and the Rep's (note: if what Rep. Michael Burgess says is true, at least in the house, this has been a Dem's push, not a Rep/Dem co-op) - which then causes me to ask is it simply a re-election scare or are they doing what they truly believe is best for the country/economy. (Personally, I say, let a capitalistic economy support it self - through buy outs, splits, etc. - the entire industry has a vested interest in self-preservation).

First Day in Belfast - See a Video of My Room

2008-09-16T14:48:00.000-07:00

Just posted a video of my room over at my blog on my year at Queen's. If you're interested, check it out at:

http://yearatqueens.blogspot.com

Cheers!

Last Day in Little Rock (and I'm Off!)

2008-09-14T22:56:00.000-07:00

(This is all my stuff for the year. Crazy!)

First of all, I just sent out a mass email with prayer requests and how to contact me this year. If you didn't get it, but would like it, let me know and I'll send it to you. I promise it wasn't an intentional miss - but rather what I get for doing it quickly. Sorry! I really would love for you to get the email!

Second, here are pictures from my last day in Little Rock to share with you as I head to bed. Thank you mom (my photographer :-) for these pictures!

This is me and my wonderful 89 year-old grandma. She's great!

This is one of my best friends from college, Jonathan Hornok, and his wife Mariah. They came over for Ethiopian food. It's been so great to get to spend time with them these last 6 weeks!

This is Josh & Chelsea Collum, they came over for Ethiopian as well. Great friends from college who just moved to Little Rock. It's been awesome getting to hang out with them and help them remodel a house here in town.

Lastly, this is my twin brother David. I got to spend the entire day with him from church to lunch to ultimate frisbee and dinner. It was so great to see him before leaving. I love him so much and am so proud of him - I'm gonna miss him a lot this year!

Ugh...Money

2008-09-10T06:40:00.000-07:00

Woke up this morning to what I like to affectionately call my email "throwing up". Every now and then the JBU alumni servers gets hung up, so I won't receive my emails for a day or two and then all of the sudden they'll dump into my inbox. Well, that was this morning with the last three days of emails greeting me. Smack dab in the middle of the list was one from Bank of America with the subject "Account Has Insufficient..." Oh man! I've been trying to track it and thought I was right around $100 - evidently not! Somehow in my trip this weekend back to Siloam Springs, I went over. So, for the $29.08 that I was over, I got hit by 5 $25 overdraft fees. Ouch! What stinks is that $2 of that overdraft were from USPS when I set up my forwarding address on line - they charge you a $1 to access your credit card and check your address (I had two addresses to forward from). So, $2 there now is $52. I'm going to go in this morning and see if I can at least get that $50 knocked off. I haven't overdrafted in years...so I'm hoping they'll give me a grace and knock off at least some of the fees.

I was reading Matthew 14 this morning, after finding out about the overdrafts, and Jesus' miracle of the loaves and fishes was really encouraging. Thankfully, I have two deposits of money that should be coming that will put me back in the black with my bank account - not by much - but at least not in the red. I don't know, it just really seemed encouraging this morning that if Christ can feed over 5,000 people with 5 loaves and 2 fish, that he can probably take care of my needs - no matter how tight things are financially right now. So, I'm going to trust him that he'll provide and, in the end (regardless of my stupid overdraft mistakes), it'll all work out.

So, instead of getting worried or anxious, I think I'm going to stand my ground there - right next to a God who provides, in spite of my mistakes.

(Image courtesy of Alamo Community College)

C.S. Lewis on Education

2008-09-08T10:09:00.000-07:00

Read this excerpt today in A Year with C. S. Lewis.

If all the world were Christian, it might not matter if all the world were uneducated. But, as it is, a cultural life will exist outside the Church whether it exists inside or not. To be ignorant and simple now - not to be able to meet the enemies on their own ground - would be to throw down our weapons, and to betray our uneducated brethren who have, under God, no defence but us against the intellectual attacks of the heathen. Good philosophy must exist, if for no other reason, because bad philosophy needs to be answered. The cool intellect must work not only against cool intellect on the other side, but against the muddy heathen mysticisms which deny intellect altogether. Most of all, perhaps, we need intimate knowledge of the past. Not that the past has any magic about it, but because we cannot study the future, and yet need something to set against the present, to remind us that the basic assumptions have been quite different in different periods and that much which seems certain to the uneducated is merely temporary fashion. A man who has lived in many places is not likely to be decieved by the local errors of his native village; the scholar has lived in many times and is therefore in some degree immune from the great cataract of nonsense that pours from the press adn the microphone of his own age.

-From "Learning in War-Time" (The Weight of Glory)

I appreciate the perspective and the reminder. I find particularly agreeable the sentiment that "...a cultural life will exist outside the Church whether it exists inside or not. To be simple now...would be to throw down our weapons, and to betray our uneducated brothers...".

How Does Your Age Change Your View on Politics

2008-09-02T16:21:00.000-07:00

"I look at Obama as the thoughtful consensus builder, with all these nuances,
and John as the straightforward happy warrior."
Rick Warren, World Magazine, Sep 6/13, 2008

My mom shared this quote with me to tonight. What's your initial reaction? Fairly positive of both candidates or very heavily swayed one from the other? If my mom's and my differing reactions is any indication of a typical response, your response may depend on your age.

For my mother, this reaction was very clearly that Warren's comment was very heavily in favor of McCain and almost blatantly negative about Obama. I didn't see any of this in the comment, instead, seeing Warren point out something strong in both cases. I think, for my parent's generation, the idea of "consensus" is not an appealing idea - whereas for my generation, this is a very appealing prospect. In the same note, McCain as "warrior" scares me in ways, rather than comforts me.

Anyways, it was an interesting communication difference between generations in view of the same comment.

What Would Life Have Looked Like?

2008-08-29T17:00:00.000-07:00

I've taken up biking since I've been home. My aunt gave my mom her old road bike, so it seemed like a good excuse to work out and a helpful alternative to bashing up my weak knees running. There's a 10-12 mile ride that takes me from my house to a park I had never known about before called "Twin Rivers Park". It sits on two peninsula's that stick out in the middle of the Arkansas River. It's a gorgeous ride - taking me by farm land, river front homes, and then through this wonderful arboretum. The other day I counted 17 deer that I saw in one ride. Another day I saw 9 deer plus 2 armadillos. It's a blast to go riding - I never know what I'm going to see (I've even see a couple of snakes so far).

The day I saw the 17 deer, I had read Jesus' Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 6 where he says:

Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.

What does that mean? How does it apply to our lives? Now, I don't think this is Christ saying, "Hey, lay off working, thinking ahead, and providing for your family." I just don't see that practical side of life being written off by God - plus, this section is focused on worry and anxiety - so the focus is more appropriately on those that stress about providing for their lives to the point where their lives are filled with anxiety, failing to trust God for His provision.

It did get me thinking though, is life as we know it really as it should be? As I watched the deer and geese that day, it seemed as though they truly had the better life. They spend the time they need eating and gathering what they need - but they don't spend all day doing it. Nor do they seem anxious, stressed, or constantly busy. I can't help but wonder if their life is what ours was meant to be.

What if the plan had been that we too would be able to spend small portions of our day working for our own provision, and spend a larger part of our day in the company of others or enjoying the creation of the Creator? What if before

cursed is the ground because of you;
in pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life;
thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you...
by the sweat of your face
you shall eat bread,
till you return to the ground,
for out of it you were taken;
for you are dust,
and to dust you shall return
(Gen 3:17-19, ESV)

our lives looked more like the other creatures created by the hand of God? In, a way, wouldn't it make sense? If we are the height of His creation - the one's of which He said it is "very good" - the very best of what He created - wouldn't it make sense that our lives would, like the deer and geese, be spent enjoying this world He created? Could it be that the Fall brought with it such a need to work that we are unable to have the time to truly enjoy the world around us? It would seem that ever since the Fall - whether in agrarian societies or our modern society - man spends 40-80 hours a week simply providing for his sustenance.

Perhaps heaven will restore that and we, like the rest of creation, will be able to truly enjoy walking along a river, going for a bike ride through a park, or spending time with friends - knowing that we don't have to spend every waking moment providing for our own needs.

(Image Courtesy of RiverTrail.org)

I Love Sundays!!

2008-08-25T15:41:00.000-07:00

(Opening service at the new church - everyone from all three venues ended by worshiping together. Picture from www.fellowshiponline.com)

Okay, so know that sounds really cliche and might annoy the sensitivities of some of you to such "triteness". However, I can't help it! :-)

It's been so great to be back at Fellowship these last few weeks. I leave church bummed that it's over and disappointed that I have to wait a whole other week before I get to come back. Last week I had the chance to stay for both services and LOVED IT!! There's something about having been involved so heavily with the church in high school, knowing so many of the people that work there now, and dynamic worship and engaging/challenging teaching that get's me all jazzed up. It's been fun these last two weeks to invite and introduce to of my friends who have moved to Little Rock to Fellowship. I know they may not stay there and for those that don't have the connections I do, it can come off as not being so friendly or engaging - but man, I sure love it and love introducing people to it!

On top of that, every Sunday a group of us get together and play Ultimate Frisbee for two-three hours. It's a blast! Sure, I'm not all that good - but it's a great work out, great friends, and just a fun time.

So anyways, I went to bed last night thinking about how wonderful the day had been...and bummed that it was another 7 days till I got to experience it again. :-)

Web Tip: Facebook & Multiple Blogs

2008-08-16T18:00:00.000-07:00

(Pipes.Yahoo.com - combining multiple RSS feeds)

I ran into a problem. I'm now running two blogs - this one and then one about my year at Queen's. I did this because this blog you're reading tends to be fairly random about what's going on in my life - but I wanted a blog where friends and family could find out about my year at Queen's and really just stay up-to-date on things there - not all the randomness that goes through my head.

Facebook can import a blog into your Notes. However, it can only import ONE blog, so it mean that I would have to choose between the two which would be sticky, since I really wanted it to post both. Well, I found a work around:

Yahoo Pipes

It's really a kind of odd (yet, pretty nifty) program that Yahoo bought and is now administering. Basically it allows you to create a "pipe" of information and how it is processed. For my situation, I simply had the first part of the pipe look up to RSS Feeds (the two feeds for my blogs) and then had it output those two feeds. This output creates another page that has it's own RSS feed. That RSS feed takes into account BOTH blogs and will follow all updates. Bingo! So, I just took the RSS feed from my pipes setup and pasted that into Facebook's Note's importer and now Facebook is importing any new posts I make to either of my blogs. Success!

Web-Finds: To-Do List for Google & Traineo

2008-08-14T08:17:00.000-07:00

I've come across two really handy online free programs this last week that I thought I would pass on.

To-do List for Google Calendar: Remember the Milk

If, like me, you've ever wished that Google, in it's incredible package of free offerings (email, calendar, docs, analytics, blogger, notepad, etc.) had an integrated To-Do list, then here's a solution.

While Google hasn't offered something like this yet, the website www.rememberthemilk.com is an online To-Do list that integrates with Google Calendar and will add to your calendar what you need to do that day. Remember the Milk is easy to navigate and has shortcut keys to navigate and add new items to your list.

Working Out with Long-Distance Accountability: Traineo

I came across this free-be as I was surfing the web for something to track my working out history as I try to add pushups, crunches, and something cardeo to my daily habits.

Traineo offers a way to track your workouts (& calories burned), your calorie intake, plus other things you can add - such as sleep patterns. However, while having a really easy to use interface, it also offers an accountability factor which is where it's strength is. You can add as many "motivators" to your account as you want. Weekly, these people will get an email updating them on your weight loss and activity patterns for that week. Then, if they see that in a week you haven't done anything - or over several weeks you've been slacking - it's easy for them to come back to you and say, "Hey, what's going on? Stress? Busy? or just slacking?". I started using it this week and have been really happy with it.

The beautiful thing for me is that, while I'm moving, my old workout partner - even though we can't work out together - can hold me accountable to be working out. :-)

www.traineo.com

Trust & Reliance: Got It?

2008-08-10T08:00:00.000-07:00

A lot in my life has changed this summer. For example, two months ago, I planned to remain at JBU for another year, serving as an admissions counselor. Since then, everything's changed. Instead of my previous plans, I'm now heading to Northern Ireland for a one-year Master's program. Not only an incredibly unlikely circumstance - or so I would have through two months ago - but also a significantly intimidating change. In this process of my life being picked up and turned on its head, I've learned something really humbling and sobering about myself. I neither trust nor rely on the Lord like I thought I did (something I think was likely a projection of desire, rather than an honest summation).

What woke me up to it was when I heard back from Queen's University - the first to respond to my application. Surprised that anyone had accepted me so late in the game, I began stressing out about all the pieces that had to fall in to place. UK student visa. Loans. Tickets. Moving. Etc. The stress became so great that I wasn't eating healthy, I wasn't sleeping well, I couldn't concentrate at work, and the list goes on.

What's ironic is that through this year, I had been memorizing and looking over a passage in Philippians 4:

In everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving,

present your requests to God. And the peace of God,

which transcends all understanding, will gaurd your

heart and your mind in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Ironic and sobering. All year, I had been looking over this verse and then in the midst of the stress I failed to place these stresses before Him and trust Him to provide and take care.

My sister Jenny gave me a new Bible for my birthday (it's a small Bible and will be great for traveling). We talked about worry and how, in many ways, worry is either a sin, or at the very least, indicative of a sin - the sin of not trusting the Lord, his promises, and his character. After getting the Bible, I was flipping through it and was directed to Psalm 37:5, as a response to anxiety or worry:

Commit your way to the LORD;

trust in him, and he will act.

Here's the sobering thing. I failed to truly commit my plans for this year and what I was doing to the Lord. I failed to trust Him and his desire, ability, and promise to act. Rather than allowing God's peace to replace my anxiety, I let the anxiety impact so many aspects of my life.
The reality is that, in spite of me, the LORD/YHWH did act. In miraculous form he allowed my application to go through quickly at Queen's. He's provided my visa and the plane tickets for my trip. I have no doubt, at this point, that he'll provide the loans and money for this year as well.

I'm amazed by a God, so intimately involved in our world, that speaks/acts into our lives - at times, regardless of where we are or what choices we are making - to shape and direct where we go.

What a joy this summer may have been, had I chosen to present my request to God, committed it to him, trusted him - laying down the pressure I placed on myself - and allowed the God of the universe to act...if I had only let YHWH be YHWH in my life.

Waking Up to Say Goodbye

2008-08-04T21:27:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning to say goodbye. (That's not entirely true - I woke up because I wanted to pack the car before the day's weather became entirely unbearable.) In waking, I woke to my last day living in Siloam...thus, in a way, I woke up to say goodbye.

The last six years in Siloam have been an incredible way to start off this "life of independence" that we're called to as we leave our childhood home after high school - taking steps down the road of learning to live on our own.

Six years has brought a lot:

Friends - through JBU and Fellowship Bible Church my world exploded with an amazing diversity of beliefs, perspectives, upbringing, expectations, hopes, dreams, and hurts. My world expanded with these friends now living as far away as China and as close as Little Rock, where my parents live.

Travel - opportunities ranging from an archaeological dig in Jordan to a conference in Dallas to a business trip in Boston and to an inner-city immersion trip in Chicago. Beyond these incredible experiences, college brought with it road trips to Seattle and Alabama.

Challenges - as the assumptions of my childhood were challenged, my faith began to be strained, stretched, and remolded into something different, yet better, not worse. More honest and yet more faithful to the core of what had always been there.

Celebrations - over these 6 years I've been able to celebrate with nearly a dozen weddings and shouted/screamed as friends graduated from High School/College.

These last 6 years have been more wonderful then I can ever express and brought about a gratitude deeper then anything I can ever convey.

Even this final week brought with it an incredible sense of gratefulness - from an office-wide lunch on Tuesday (it humbled me that everyone was invited, not just one area) to a night on the lake with some of my closest guy friends (thanks Jas!) to a final tournament of Settler's of Catan with about a dozen other staff and faculty at JBU (rescheduled so that I could be there) to a church family that spoke words of blessing and encouragement as things wrapped up Sunday morning in that white church on the corner of Twin Springs and Washington St.

I want to say "What a week!", but truly it goes beyond that to "What an incredible 6 years!". I couldn't have hoped for anything better in these first years of "stretching my wings" and figuring out this thing we call life.

I woke up this morning to say goodbye: to a wonderful beginning, to a fantastic final week, and to a town, community, and organization that has, in many ways, become a family.

My Opus...

2008-07-29T00:27:00.000-07:00

(A screenshot of the, so far, 120 page manual I'm working on.)

Here I sit. One final night in the Admissions office. One final all-nighter to give JBU. And my final opus. My final gift. My final repayment for all that JBU has done for me. One last way to say thank you. One final assignment to complete. One final challenge to overcome. One really big document.

I'm working to finish up my "Procedure Manual" for tomorrow. Tomorrow's my last day here (weird writing that - the end of a 6 year stay) and my final chance to finish this last assignment. Kim Eldridge, my director, when he began 10 months ago, let us all know that he wanted each of us to create a procedure manual for our position.

So, this is my last challenge and my last task. If I can leave at 5 o'clock tomorrow with this finished, I will feel like I accomplished all that I was given this year in either an excellent or, at the very least, good/satisfactory fashion. I will leave knowing, in spite of the mistakes I made and the things that I learned from, that I have completed what was given me to the best of my ability.

With that, I should return to this...my final opus for JBU (at least for a while). I'm at 120 pages, but still have to write about ERP, Scholarship Weekend, and the Ambassador program, so it likely has another 20 pages to go, we'll see.

I bid you adieu...

P.S. I also turn my cell phone in tomorrow, so, for the time being, I have no phone. The best way to get a hold of me is through email or facebook.

What a Wonderful Week

2008-07-26T19:33:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow, I head back to Arkansas with my parents...17 hours of driving to wrap-up what has been a wonderful week. I need to head to bed, as I'm pretty exhausted, but here are the highlights:

*Visa - I got my application sent off and heard from the British Consulate this week. I've been approved for my visa! Woohoo! (The British Consulate was absolutely amazing at communicating)

*Tickets - I bought my tickets for N. Ireland - right around $500, not too shabby. I fly out Monday, Sept. 15 and get in to Belfast a couple of days before international orientation starts.

*Got to read a ton - read two essays by Francis Schaffer on "Art and the Bible," a 600 page novel (the Bourne Betrayal...eh, not amazing, but okay), and "The Language of God" by Francis Collins - head of the human genome project. I can't remember the last chance I got to read this much - it was wonderful! :-)

*People - I had lots of time to spend with my parents, my sister & brother-in-law and two nephews, and then all my extended cousins here in Charleston - we had a blast!!

*History - for the first time in the 25 years I've been coming to Charleston, I did touristy stuff this week. Had a blast on a carriage ride through downtown Charleston and then a great time out at Ft. Sumter with Uncle Wayne, Aunt Dee, and Krystan.

*Phone - I didn't answer my phone all week - and while I feel bad that two of my best friends from back home couldn't get a hold of me - it felt so good to cut the "leash" for a week.

On top of all that, lots of time spent in the hammock, on the beach, and in one of the rocking chairs on the porch (like the one above).

Tomorrow we drive back and Monday I'll head back to work. My last two days at JBU are Monday and Tuesday, then I'll be spending the rest of the week taking care of business in town before heading down to Little Rock on either Sunday, Aug. 3rd, or the following day.

It was a wonderful week and I'm ready to get back to Siloam for a great last week with friends!

Two Days...

2008-07-17T08:23:00.000-07:00

(Courtesy of www.easyrealtorwebsite.com)

Two days and counting and I'm really ready to head out. It's been a good week with some great time with friends, but I'm ready for a break. I'm going to end up spending a couple of hours today playing the mediator in a conflict with two of my staff, so that's pretty exhausting to think about - since I hate conflict - but I also know that it'll be a really good thing for both of them in growth - and for me, since life will be full of conflict.

I'm working on visa stuff. I don't have everything just as they asked (like my loans in place and I'm missing one pay stub), but I'm praying for a gracious visa reviewer and that everything will work out.

Well, I should get back to work.

Tony Snow's Commencement Speech: Worth a Read

2008-07-16T06:49:00.000-07:00

(Image Courtesy of The Catholic University of America)

Tony Snow, former Fox News staff member and former White House Press Secretary, delivered the following speech at The Catholic University of America. It's definitely worth reading in its entirety:

Your excellency Archbishop Wuerl, President O’Connell, members of the board of trustees, members of the administration, distinguished faculty and staff, graduating students — and families who paid for [their education] — honored guests, Dr. Williams, thank you one and all.

This is a wonderful thing, a graduation: And I hope your lives will be filled with many more – not in terms of diplomas, but in the sense that you will have escalating accomplishments throughout your days. I’ve been asked to aid in that quest by giving you some advice, so here it goes.

First, live boldly. Live a whole life. I have five tips for pulling this off and – let me warn you — they’ve all been road tested. I learned the old-fashioned way, through trial and error.

Number one, think. You’ve got a diploma now, you’ve got a brain. Put them to work.

Finish reading...

I've Never Been So Ready for a Vacation

2008-07-16T06:21:00.001-07:00

(Courtesy of LightHouseGetaway.com)

I've never been more ready for a vacation then I am for this one next week on Sullivan's Island, just outside of Charleston, SC. I'm exhausted in so many senses of the word - emotionally, physically, spiritually - and can't wait to be able to sleep in late, sit around and talk with family, play cards, walk on the beach, or go net casting with my dad. Saturday morning I'll wake up at 5am to drive the 16 hour drive by myself, but it's going to be so worth it.

I'm so grateful to the Barkley's for letting us use their beach house - without them I probably wouldn't be having a vacation. As well, I haven't seen my aunts, uncles, and cousins in South Carolina in more than 2 or 3 years, so it'll be really, really good to see them again.

It's weird for me to have a week where one of the only things getting me through it is the reminder of next weeks vacation. I lay down at night or get up in the morning thinking to myself, "Where will I be this time next week?" and the answer usually involves sleeping in, walking around some of the old plantations in South Carolina, playing cards with family, swinging in the hammock on the porch, or playing in the water.

I'm so ready for a vacation and so thankful that one's coming.

Ironically Blessed

2008-07-06T21:11:00.001-07:00

Friendships are a challenge for me. People are often surprised by that, if they don't know me well, since I come across as an extroverted, people-person. Truth be told, I'm an introvert that struggles to develop long-term friendships with people - functioning under the premise that I bug people by calling and intruding in their lives; so I wait until friends call me. It's a weird foundation to function from, I know. There's several reasons from it from childhood and part of it is I just need to retrain myself.

In light of that though, this weekend was ironically incredible as I got to connect with lots of friends.

Friday, the 4th of July
Friday afternoon I ran into Steven Sbanotto on a walk where he invited me over to an open-party at his parent's house, about 1/2 a mile from the airport, for dinner and fireworks. While I was there, I had an incredible chance to catch up with Melissa, Karey (sp?), Joy & Mark Stoner, Steven, David Burney...meet a gal named Holly and her brother David (who I got to spend a good bit of time talking to)...and then connect with Andrew Bolger at the end of the night, which was an AWESOME surprise. So good to see him - I have so much respect for him and it's great whenever we get to catch up. Talk about a man with a lot of wisdom and a solid character.

Saturday
I got to kick the day off with breakfast at Kathy's Corner with Andrew Bolger and Mr. Whitmore, which was a great time. Then Andrew and I hung out for another couple of hours, sitting, talking, and drinking chai. What a terrific time! Then Saturday night, Cody and Kara Beckman (who have been incredible to me this year, inviting me to join them for Razorback baseball games, graduation parties, etc.) and Kara's sister Maranda, invited me to joing them for a Professional Bull Riding (PBR) competition at the Rodeo of the Ozarks - what a cultural experience. Holy Cow! :-) On top of that, we had some awesome homemade pizza and watched "The Office". :-) Cody, Kara, and Maranda have been an incredible blessing this year. I hope we all get to connect again in the future.

Sunday
Then today, I went to church where it was great to see people who have been such a blessing in my life. The church just found out this last week that I'm headed to N. Ireland, so some really encouraging conversations about that (I found out that Seth Wrigth and his wife will be living in Belfast this next year - woohoo!). After church, the Jackson's invited me to their house for lunch. What an awesome family! It's been really good to get to know Dwight, a man I respect a whole lot. Travis Chaney and Ben Bergstrom were also there - which was a lot of fun. They're great story tellers and great at bringing humor to conversations. This afternoon/evening I then spent with Josh & Chelsea Deal out at New Life Ranch for 5 hours. We gathered black berries, went fishing (I caught a large mouth bass which was cool), and had an incredible spaghetti dinner. Josh and Chelsea have been so good to me. I'm really excited their moving to Little Rock - since it means that they'll be near my parents for the next two years, thus more likely that I'll get to see them and stay in touch.

Beyond...
Really, the blessings of my life have gone way beyond these examples. I got to talk to Dusty Johnston on the phone Thursday. He's a longtime friend who's wedding I have the joy of being in this next weekend - I can't wait for him and Anna. I got to talk with James Barnes, a best friend from college, on the phone a couple of times. Jason Hough came by tonight and I got to talk with him - he's such a huge encouragement in my life. I got to talk to a college friend, Lisa Repair, and hopefully will get to see her driving through Jackson, MS here in a couple of weeks. I got to connect with James Kuykendall and John Aoun on facebook this week (among a bunch of others).

Honestly, it's been an incredible week and I am so, so blessed by all the wonderful people the Lord has brought into my life. Mary Armstrong this morning was such an encouragement at church, letting me know she'd been praying for me and would continue to.

What would it look like if God had created a world that didn't function on relationships? What if God created a world where everyone functioned within relationships like I do? How different the world would be. How dreary it would be. This young boy who still struggles to build into relationships and develop them, is humbled by the ironic blessing of having wonderful people in his life. While my response likely should be something more, for what I have, I am thankful for it in way that I can't express...it strikes me to the core and humbles me like few things do.

A Jackson Pollack Week

2008-07-05T11:52:00.001-07:00

(Courtesy of RealMagazine.com)

In my undergrad, I did a project on Jackson Pollack. Fascinating artist, creator, and, on a psychological level, a fascinating man as well. Much of his art work is like the above, a "splattering" of different colored paints layer upon layer. My week seemed similar to this splattering of bright colors and dark colors, to the point where, just as I'm unsure of what to make of some of Pollack's paintings, I'm unsure of what to make of my week.

Queen's
I received word from a professor on Monday that I had been accepted to the Grad program. He mentioned that I should, shortly thereafter, hear from the admissions office, which I never did. The online status of my application still isn't updated...so, the questions begin: do I go ahead with a student visa? Do I wait with so little time left? Do I go ahead with buying a plane ticket that will just get more expensive the closer to Sept. it gets? What should I go ahead and do about loans? The week definitely had the high point of being accepted - an event that makes me ecstatic, when I stop and think about it.

Health
I haven't been feeling well for a week or more now and I couldn't put my finger on it. Was it spiritual? Was it physical? Was it simply that I wasn't sleeping enough or at good hours? Was I eating poorly? Was it stress from the house (I killed 45 gnats hovering over our sink yesterday morning...ugh)? Was it stress from work?

I still don't know for sure, but what I do know is that I got a physical on Wed. and my blood pressure is 150/90 (normal is 120/70). So, I'm elevated on both counts and it's a little scary when the doctor starts talking about putting you on blood pressure meds that 50 year olds usually take.

In the end, it was a good thing. The high blood pressure helps explain why I've been feeling heavy and lethargic and not on my "A game".

But while it's good to know what's wrong - it's still sobering to have such high blood pressure and know that one of the big ways to bring it down is to loose 20 pounds - yikes!

Work
Work has changed too. Thursday, I officially gave up my desk. Which is bitter sweet. Yes, it means that I'm nearly done with my commitment at JBU, but it's also weird to be looking at the end of 6 years working in the admissions office. So, I'm now back in the call intern area with a few projects to finish (procedure manual, AVC, etc.) up before I leave and 12 days of work left.

In Summary...
"A Jackson Pollack Week" seemed to be the best description of this last week. In the midst, I still hold firmly to God's sovereignty. An unchanging God brings with him an unchanging perspective and resolve. A resolve and a perspective that all too often slips from my eyes. It's a marvelous thing, that an unchanging God created changing beings and understands them so fully, that their morphesus doesn't shake him. Perhaps, while my week seemed like a "Jackson Pollack" week, from the perspective of the Almighty, it was a small part of what might, in the end, look like a Thomas Cole or John Constable painting.

That seems true to the God of the Old and New Testament. The God above the circumstances, orchestrating, yet not controlling, the actions of man to create the symphony or the painting that tell of something great...that is a testimony, a testimony to Him.

A Message from (the) Queen('s)

2008-06-30T10:27:00.001-07:00

I just got this email this morning from Prof. Peter Gray at Queen's University, Belfast, North Ireland:

------

Peter Gray [p.h.gray@queens-belfast.ac.uk]
Sent: Monday, June 30, 2008 10:40 AM
To: Daniel Ostendorff

Dear Daniel
Just to let you know that your application for a place on MA Modern history
has been approved and that you will be getting formal confirmation of this
from the University's Admissions Office in due course (hopefully quite
quickly).

Looking forward to meeting you in September.
Best wishes
Peter Gray
Professor of Modern Irish History
Chair of Postgraduate Research Committee
School of History and Anthropology
Queen\'s University Belfast
Belfast BT7 1NN
N. Ireland

Web: www.qub.ac.uk/history

-------

Needless to say I'm on cloud nine. :-) I'm so excited!!

Hope to Hear This Next Week

2008-06-28T17:01:00.001-07:00

(Image courtesy of BankNotes.com)

I took this last Thursday off to work on applications. Nottingham's is sent. It was an online app, so easy to get done adn sent off. Edinburg's is finished, I'm just waiting on one more recommendation, then I can send it off. Cambridge is the last one and there's still a good bit to do. It's the only school that requires three pictures (or any picture for that matter), a writing sample, and a 500 word essay for potential funding. Needless to say, it's the most involved, so it's going to take a while. Hopefully I can get it out before the 4th.

That's the update on school...

Other than that, I'm starting to dig into Kenyan history some more, particularly the colonial period. It's interesting to look at JBU's collection of resources, they are all dated within 5 or 10 years of Kenya's independence in 1963. Needless to say, I need to keep looking for recent scholarship. I'm hoping that this means that it's a field that still has room for input and scholarship. We'll see. I feel like, in some ways, academia is a gamble - you pick a focus that you feel will be marketable and one you enjoy enough to spend your life focusing on; then hope that there actually is a market out there when you're finished with your university course.

I've started on a book now written in 1968 that focuses primarily on the development of Kenya, or the East African protectorate, from the time the British decided to administer it (1895) until the 1910s. It's focusing mostly on the establishment of British government and the journey of working with the local population to establish an administration. It's really interesting and makes me excited to pursue it in more depth.

I guess that's a good thing...

Following Close Behind...Edinburgh & Cambridge

2008-06-22T18:49:00.001-07:00

With Queen's first out of the shoot last week, Edinburgh and Cambridge are hot on his heels.

Queen's continues to be the program I'm the most excited about and the one I'm the most encouraged about my possibility of acceptance. Cambridge is my "shoot for the moon" move (yes, in following up to my last post, I did change my mind and am going to go for it). Edinburgh is a possibility and a school with a fantastic reputation - it'll be a hard choice if I'm accepted there and Queen's.

The University of Nottingham also got back to me and they have space available still as well. For those of you that know Prof. Neil Ward at JBU, this was the school he did his MFA at a year ago. He speaks well of it - besides the fact that it's quite the party school - the education was really good.

So, we'll see. I hope to hear back from Queen's within the next week and a half or so. For Cambridge and Edinburgh, I'm waiting on recommendations from Dr. Ericson. Once I get those and Prof. Jason Hough fills out my personal reference for funding through Cambridge, I can get all of those sent off. Oh yeah, and I need to finish my writing sample for Cambridge (I'm editing my senior thesis on the Rwandan genocide) and a picture of myself to send. So, I'm hoping that I can get them all in the mail as soon as Wed. We'll see!

I've started the application for Nottingham but ran into a slight hickup - they won't let me apply for 2008 online anymore, only 2009. So, waiting to hear back from them on how to handle that. Hopefully I can have this application completed by the end of the week.

Don't know if I'll be in the UK three months from now, but I'm sure going to give it my best shot. :-P

Queen's, First One Out of the Shoot

2008-06-19T20:41:00.000-07:00

I sent in my completed application to Queen's University in Belfast this afternoon. By far, Prof. Peter Gray has been the most helpful of all the Universities I've been in contact with this week. The more I think about it, the more I'm excited for the possibility! By far, Queen's seems to have the best grad program for what I want to study. Prof. Gray did both is undergraduate and graduate work at Cambridge, where I'd love to study some day. The school's located in Belfast - which is great! The JBU study abroad team will be near by in the fall - which gives me a way to continue to invest in JBU, which I'm really excited about. Hadden & Betty Wilson are around, which brings bubbling happiness and excitment to my heart. The more and more I think about it, the more and more I get so excited!

I'm hoping this is where God wants me, but we'll have to see. Thankfully, I was able to get a hold of both Prof. Preston Jones and Dr. Rick Ostrander for recommendations. I was able to get a copy of my transcript within a day (thanks Melanie!) and had the entire application completed and sent two days after I started it. Up to this point, it seems like God has been opening doors and making connections easier then they should be, but we'll have to see. It may be that his plan involves me staying here in Siloam Springs or down in Little Rock next year, we'll just have to see...but N. Ireland sure would be grand. :-)

Also got my FAFSA taken care of today. I now know why that stupid (sorry, it's not really) form causes so much stress and frustration for our undergraduate student's and parents. It's so particular and detailed - to the point where it's frustrating to continually find yourself flipping back and forth through your tax return. Arg! At least it's done though.

I also found out that tuition at Queen's will be approx. $17,700 this next year. (Crazy how that's the same cost as JBU per year...hmmm). I've been told to atleast plan on $17-20,000 for living expenses. That brings it to roughly $35,000 to $40,000 that I need for next year and all the scholarship deadlines are passed, so it's likely resting on my laurels to pay for it. Through FAFSA and the Federal Gov't, I can get up to $20,000 in Stafford loans - woohoo!! Then from there I can use the PLUS loan to cover all the extra. So, the good news is that I know I can finance the year at a decent interest rate (6.5% and 8% respectively), but it's still a huge chunk of money. Granted, I'll be making $10-15,000 a year after it then I'm making now, but it's still a chunk of change. We'll see what God does - it'd be great if there was some financial help from a late scholarship or left over funds somewhere, but I'm not counting on it.

Anyways, this is ridiculously long. From here, I'll work on the application to the University of Edinburgh and University of Nottingham, but to be honest, I'm not super excited about either one. I think I've decided to not apply to Cambridge now. I might apply later for a research masters (after my taught masters at Queen's - the UK has two different masters, taught and research) or maybe for a doctorate down the road somewhere. Cambridge would still be a dream come true - but I don't feel like I'm at a point to make the most of it right now.

And the adventure goes on... :-)

Things Are Always Changing

2008-06-17T18:42:00.001-07:00

So, in following, with the story of my life, it continues to change. No longer am I going to be working for JBU this coming Fall. In fact, my last day will likely be the middle to end of July (probably following the AVC camp from July 13-18, right before I leave for a week vacation on the beach with the family.

Where to from here? Well, there's a few options:

United Kingdom - I heard from Queen's University (in Belfast, N. Ireland), University of Edinburgh, and Cambridge this morning that they still have spots left in their master's in history programs. Woohoo! I'm still waiting to hear back from a few others. But it's really exciting, so I'm now going to work like a mad man to get the applications filled out this week. I can't wait to see if something works out!

Little Rock - my parents would love for me to move back to Little Rock, and I would as well. I have a great group of friends there, a fantastic church, and a twin brother that I want to encourage. Also, because I lived there through high school and my parents have lived there for 8 years, there's plenty of connections to look for a job. Or, maybe work with my brother in his lawn mowing business...who knows.

Siloam Springs - or another option is to look for things here in Siloam. There are positions open at the school that I could apply for, as well as a large area throughout the Northwest corridor that would have jobs. As well, I have an incredible group of friends here that I love and that would love for me to stick around. Another option in this area is to pursue a master's at the U of A, possibly in communication.

So, I'm not sure what this Fall holds for me. I do know that I have little to no commitments (other than school loans). I know that I serve an incredible God who's taken care of me up to this point and promises to be faithful. I know that there's a huge world out there with all kinds of opportunities - so whatever works out, I'm excited for the change. I think, more than anything, I'm the most excited about grad school and pursuing a master's at this point.

Jobs: Home Owner vs. Renter?

2008-05-22T18:26:00.000-07:00

I'm currently renting a two-story, three bedroom, one bathroom house with four other guys. Living here and reading The Seven-Day Weekend (a fantastic book and a must read) has spurred my thoughts into the realm of renting versus owning a house. Think about the differences:

*an owner invests in his home vs. the renter maintains existence in the house
*an owner feels freedom to improve his property vs. the renter simply leaves the house in whatever state he found it
*an owner is spurred towards improvement by their ownership vs. the renter works to do the least amount to the house - damage or improvement, walking on invisible eggshells
*an owner does not ask for permission to make changes/improvements to the home vs. the renter must ask his landlord to make even small changes to the property

The contrast continues on in other areas - responsibility, long-term commitment, changes, profit margin when leaving, etc.

A job possesses a strong parallel to this owner vs. renter contrast. A manager, owner, or vice president of a company "owns" the company and thus has a vested interest in it's growth, development, improvement - and has the power and authority to make these changes or improvements. Most often, employees underneath higher management level positions are simply asked to fulfill their duties. They aren't given any opportunity to significantly change or develop the business.

Therefore, it's no surprise that "great ideas from the little man" are highlighted as novelties in the news, as if they were that rare diamond that's found among coal. I believe that the truth is that every employee has talents, intuitions, ideas, creativity, and thoughts that create the potential to significantly benefit the company they work for. However, most businesses treat their employees as renters - simply requiring them to show up, pay their dues, and leave - not as owners, empowering them as movers and changers, but simply renters.

It's a mentality like this that drove Gillette to spend $600 million dollars to decide to make the Mach 3 - simply an addition of one blade to their previous model. An idea that perhaps two dozen floor workers might have suggested on their own. It's the reason that floor employees observe machines that are beginning to fail, but without the "ownership" to do anything about it, the company suffers production loss and possible injury to the employee when something finally goes wrong.

So, what about you? Does your employer treat you as an owner or a renter? Do you have the freedom to leave your job better than you found it? Investing in it and passionately pursuing the things you love about the business? Or, like the majority of people, are you simply a "renter" - showing up to put your 40 hours in a week and do what the company asks of you, without ever being given the power, expected, or asked to enact change, growth, or development?

Ricardo Semler, owner of the $212 million Semco company in Brazil and author of The Seven-Day Weekend, argues that for the sake of control, businesses and employers fail to serve their employees and fail to tap significant resources and ideas in them by keeping their employees as renters.

Here's some questions to think about:
Are you currently in a job? Are you a renter or an owner? Which would make you more likely to get up in the morning excited about work?

Managing people? Are they simply renting from you, the "landlord" who makes all the decisions, or are you empowering them to be owners and thus bring added benefits to your team and projects?

Looking for a job? Unless you enjoy working at what I call a "McDonald's" job (meaning, you simply show up, do your checklist and leave, never having an opportunity to change things), what would it look like to choose and pursue a job that you could be an owner in?

In a job that keeps you as a renter? Can you stir the water and see if ownership might be a possibility? If you're paid more than to be a "machine" that processes what is input and provides output, it means your paid for your contribution to the company. If the company values you as something more than replaceable, I hope they give you ownership.

Life Lessons from Sailing

2008-05-15T18:32:00.000-07:00

Sailing today with dad, David, and Marshall was great. I've decided that's it's one of the few really relaxing, wonderful, no stress ways to disconnect from the busyness of life and slowdown. Dad and David were great sailors and Marshall's a good teacher. One of the things he said as we were headed out this morning was that there's a lot you can learn from sailing and it's true. For example:

You can do everything possible to be ready for when the wind fills your sails, but you can't create the wind. Much of sailing can be simply waiting for a wind to pickup and you're completely out of control.

This parallels our lives in so many ways. Spiritually, we can only be ready for opportunities to share Christ with people, we can't create those opportunities. In careers, we can't create jobs, but we can be ready to handle the job we'd like to have when we have the opportunity. In education, we can only prepare for the school we'd liek to be a part of, but we can't create the university or create the automotatic "in". You can continue to cross apply this through lots of different aspects. The only thing we are really in control of is whether or not we're ready for the opportunities we're hoping for/anticipating.

There's a lot of other things you can learn from sailing - teamwork, bearable levels of stress, critical thinking, etc. In other words, if you get the chance...

...go sailing. :-)

Sailing :-)

2008-05-14T21:05:00.000-07:00

My dad and brother drove into town tonight and we're going sailing with Marshall Orcutt tomorrow. I'm pretty excited! I've only gotten to go once with Marshall and this time I get to do it with my dad and brother. Yeah! :-) It should be a fun day - my dad grew up next to the ocean, but he's never been sailing. I think he has the potential to love it - so it'll be fun to watch him tomorrow.

Word of wisdom for the working world - don't wait till the day before you want to take a day off to ask your boss. Kim's cool and was okay with it, but it puts him in a really sticky situation for me to say "Hey, my dad and brother are coming up to go sailing tomorrow. Can I take the day off to go with them?" I really messed up when I forgot to ask him at our one-on-one on Monday. At the same time, I'm big on not asking my interns to do something I wouldn't do and that any expectation that is placed on them should also be on me. So, I feel doubly horrible since they're really good about letting me know ahead of time that they're going to be taking time off and then I totally botched it today and didn't let them know till the day before.

So, today was a day that went okay, but also a day of not necessarily doing things right...

...I'm thankful that with a new sunrise comes a new day.

Grad Schools :-)

2008-05-13T21:20:00.000-07:00

So, here's where I'm at in Grad school applications:

Partial Apps Completed
University of Nottingham
University of Manchester
University of London

Apps Not Started
Cambridge University
University of Oxford

Both of these two - I guess because they process so many applications - don't let you apply until 13 months before their programs - so I'll have to wait until September or so. Ahh!

It's exciting to be working on this stuff though - I can't wait to get off to Grad school. It's really intimidating at this point and I psych myself out - but I keep reminding myself that even though I wasn't in Alpha Chi or the top of my class, a 3.6 meets all the GPA requirements for all the schools, including Cambridge and Oxford. Unfortunately, I'm 3 hundreths of a grade point shy for the Marshall Scholarship (it would pay for my entire graduate program), but I'll apply anyways. What the heck, why not! :-)

the Beginning: The Place of Women?

2008-05-13T19:48:00.000-07:00

This is my first post here, so I'm actually going to copy over my post from Xanga that I wrote earlier this evening. We'll use this as my christening article:

The Place of Women?

"My position as a daughter is to be feminine and content with
whatever my father does, and in being feminine, I can help my
father in his masculinity and can give him confidence by being
confident in whatever he says or does." - Rebekah, So Much More

First reaction: What do you think? This isn't talking about our heavenly father, but definitely Rebekah's earthly father. The book's subtitle is The Remarkable Influence of Visionary Daughters on the Kingdom of God. The book continues on to talk about not dating, not going to college (not even a Christian college), that a father hear's from the Lord for his daughters (they don't hear from the Lord, rather they listen to their dad) and that a woman should teach herself and, until she is married, should remain in the home she grew up in to help take care of the family. A women's never supposed to pursue a career or leadership outside of raising her children and being fully devoted to her father and then her husband.

A wonderful and amazing friend of mine grew up in a family with this perspective - in fact, her parents gave her this book for Christmas when she moved out to try to convict her about the teaching career she felt God was calling her to. It was their hope that this book would show her how wrong her choice was to pursue what God had called her to (and he definitely has, she's going to make an amazing teacher and I can't wait to see God use her in student's lives - it'll be awesome to watch!). Instead, she was supposed to follow her dad's direction and stay at home.

I always have and always will struggle with perspectives like this. I am the man who I am because of women in my life. God has used women, almost more than men, to mentor and develop me. Women are more prone to good conversations, gentle prodding in the right direction, and kind ways of giving advice. They also tend to be the most empathetic, compassionate, and encouraging people in my life - like Ms. Bressler, my PE teacher and volleyball coach.

Anyways, to all you women out there who I have the incredible pleasure of knowing: Please, please, please continue to pursue where the Lord's calling you, whether that's to teaching, business, the political world, or taking care of of your kids at home. ALL of these are incredible, important, and noble callings. God has gifted you and is developing you and you will change lives and no doubt change the world.

Pursue your heavenly Father and, in so doing, bring glory to Him. He is your focus and your goal. Your earthly father is a gift and to be honored, but not above the Lord. He should not and ought not to stand in the way of pursuing the Lord - if he does, by all means, be faithful to the Lord and know that God will honor that.

Thank you for the incredible impact you've had in my life and thank you, in advance, for the incredible impact you will have in so many other's lives.

http://www.xanga.com/dostendorff