Flying

That sweet spot

That something special

A particular thing

In a particular way.

Made for that place.

Exhausting

My job is exhausting. No, not in the way you might think. It's not a construction job where I'm physically worn-out at the end of every day. It's not a research job where my mind hurts after a full-day of reading and processing information. It's even a job where I love the people I work with. I have a great boss, who is not only understanding and supportive, but trusts and relies on me. I have co-workers who are great at what they do and who continue to teach me a lot. No, it's not the type of job I have that wears me out, nor is it the people.

The Job, God's Provision

I work at the church I started going to when my family moved to Little Rock in 1999: Fellowship Bible Church. Started 33 years ago, it's a great place with a solid foundation and a commitment to the Lord. With a weekly attendance of over 4,000 men, women and children, it's also a big place with lots going on. I work in the "Production Technology" department. We're the team who's in charge of everything from sound to video to lights. We work with some of the coolest technology and do a great job at what we do. On Sunday's, our team of 10 are the ones who make sure that everyone can see and hear in worship and in the sermon. During the week, we keep events running on campus, maintain computer networks, the phone system, etc. There are always new challenges, new fires to put out, and new things to try.

Seven months ago the job was a gift from God, just what I needed financially, location wise, and a great team to get to work with - and it still is just that, a gift from God. His provision for me. In it, He has reminded me that He is Jehovah Jireh - God, the provider.

Wedding Hammers

"Wedding" and "hammers" in the same phrase? What in the world! Lauren and I have started getting wedding gifts over the last month. It's been so much fun to open them and continues to get us so excited about our new life together. It's also really humbling. That people have spent their hard-earned money to bless us - I can't think of a better word for it than humbling. To receive gifts we in no way deserve, given by friends and family out of their love for us.

In all the gifts, I've received a couple of hammers - which is great! You can always use a hammer and it's nice to have an extra one around. Not only that, hammers are great for a lot of different things. You can use them to hold a door up while you hang the hinges or as a base for another hammer in pulling out long nails. But what a hammer's really made for - what it's really good at, is hammering nails or pulling nails out. It's a pretty simple tool, but it does those things the best - those uses are the hammer's sweet spot. That place where it's being used in the way it was made to be used.

A Mother

The same principle holds true for us. God has given us an ability to do so many different things. Just watch a mom on an average day. Mentoring and guiding her kids as they grow, cooking a meal, cleaning a house, learning to get gum out of her daughter's hair or the 'bug guts' out of her son's shirt, all the while building friendships with friends and investing in others - whether leading a Bible study, working with a team on a design project, or helping someone decorate their home. Mom's are the, without exception, the best example in our world of the ability God has given us to do so many different things - whether they're our favorite thing to do or not. But even a mom has her sweet spot - whether it's hosting a party, painting in pastels or acrylics, writing an article on the place of romance in medieval literature, or putting together a brief on the affects of the Greek economic crisis on the European Union.

I admire mom's so much. Their lives of sacrifice and their faithfulness to doing what needs to get done. There is no one in our culture and in our world who works 24/7 with no pay and, sometimes, shockingly little encouragement. No one, period. There is no profession and no job that gives us as much as a mother does. I'd like to think it's the reason that both in the UK and in the US, there's a day set aside every year to celebrate moms (UK: March 14; US: May 9 - this year).

Surviving & the Cry

Back to the beginning and my job. While mom's are the best example, we all are capable of doing lots of different things. Over the years, I've planned events for the JBU Admissions Department, played host to groups at a 'bed and breakfast' in Northern Ireland (and cleaned bathrooms, made beds, and did LOTS of laundry), and learned and managed a 15 year-old telephone system. There's lots of things we are able to do. God made us in that incredible way. I had several friends last year at Queen's University who didn't love studying, but could do it - and did it well. They knew it wasn't what they were made for - but it was what they were called to for that time. Likewise, I wasn't made for these jobs, but I was able to do them.

I know these jobs and places when I'm in them. Those places that, rather than giving us life, suck the life out of us. Every job will have its days like that - but it's a different thing when every day sucks the life out of us. It's the days that remind us of our dreams. Too many people have ignored this reminder and remained "stuck" in jobs they hate. They just push through life - counting down the number days until retirement. It's an "evolutionary" mindset to working - those 40+ years in which we spend the majority of our life. A mindset that to survive until it's over. It's in jobs like that, that something cries out inside of us "There's gotta be something more than this!" The realization that we were made to fly.

Made to Fly

I have a friend who buys handmade, beautiful guitars in Belfast, Northern Ireland and then brings them back to the US, where he resells them for a small profit. They are gorgeous guitars with a crisp and wonderful sound. Handmade, the artisan cuts and sands each piece of the instrument. He makes it for a purpose: to be played, to be heard, and to be enjoyed.

There's a word in Hebrew that has been transliterated "shalom". It's a rich word, with a depth of meaning not mirrored in any English word. In the midst of telling his people that they would spend 70 years in captivity - in a city not there own, where they are called to "seek the welfare of the city" (v.7) and the people in it - God, through the prophet Jeremiah, says this after giving this bleak message:

For I know the plans I have for you,

declares the LORD,

plans for welfare and not for evil,

to give you a future and a hope.

(Jeremiah 29:11, ESV)

The word "shalom" is there in the middle. Here it's translated as "welfare". It's also been translated "prosper" (NIV, NET), "peace" (KJV, ASV), and "good" (NLT). This is a verse that, throughout the centuries, Christians have held to as a reminder that God has a purpose for our lives - both individually and corporately.

It's no surprise. Two of the things that bring me joy and confidence in my relationship with Christ - and two questions that I think everyone has - are: What's my worth? Am I important and/or valuable as an individual? and, second, What's my purpose? Do I have a purpose for being here, other than trying to survive? It's the second of these that this verse answers so strongly - that God has a purpose for us and not just any purpose, but one that brings hope and a bright future.

Back to "shalom". Swanson, in his Dictionary of Biblical Languages with Semantic Domains: Hebrew, further defines "shalom". He adds: completeness, health, satisfaction, wholeness, and contentment. There's so much to this word. Now look back at the verse from Jeremiah. This "shalom", this completeness, wholeness and contentment is what God desires for us. Not only that, it's the plan He has for us.

Like the guitar maker in Belfast, God, as Creator, made us for a specific purpose. He made us - in all our intricacies - carrying the analogy of the guitar, to make music beautifully and uniquely - we're one of a kind. And He, in His plans, wants us to be there. He made us to fly.

Waiting to Fly

It's a call to trust. To trust that God's plans are at work and to trust His heart and His character - that He loves us so much that He wants us to fly the way He made us to. It's taking ahold of the "abundant life" that is ours when we trust in Jesus Christ and allow Him and the Triune Godhead to lead and guide us. Like God's people in Babylon, it's a call to "seek the welfare" of the job, the company, and the place where we are, whether we enjoy it or not - waiting for God's plans to be fulfilled. It's being diligent in the now, right where God has us, trusting that, if we'll trust and follow God's voice and His leading, He knows how He's going to get us to that "sweet spot". It's that place where, as He watches us fly, we'll feel God's joy and smile, as He watches us do what He made us for. Content, whole, satisfied.

I'm waiting to fly and, in the meantime, I'm going to give the best I have to give. I'm waiting on my Heavenly Father, my God, to guide me to that sweet spot.

Life Update:Wedding, Summer, & Oxford

Words on paper,

thoughts in writing,

the crazy clouds of my mind

settled, still, and visible.

For weeks now, I've missed writing. I've journaled more these last few weeks than I have in a long time. Even though I'm journaling, I miss writing for school or to share a lesson I've learned in following Christ or to simply put thoughts spinning around in my head on paper. I have missed it.

I've been working on my budget (thank you Mint.com) and pre-marital counseling homework tonight. I didn't want to call it a night just yet. There are lots of things I've wanted to write about over this last week and these last months, but tonight I simply want to write a life update.

Wedding - Less than 8 weeks ago, I asked Lauren Marie Raikes to be my wife. The frenzy of January and February, getting ready for the engagement and the anticipation of placing that ring on her finger, seem a faint blur on the horizon of my memories. And yet, they are incredibly sweet memories: planning the details of the proposal, picking up the ring from the store, and hoping she caught a glimpse, in those things, of the depth and richness of my love for her - both my bubbling, giddy school-boy love and the fullness of my commitment to pursue & love her every day of my life. It's hard to believe we're now less than 7 weeks away from the wedding. In the midst of wedding planning, pre-marital counseling, and trying to see each other as much as possible (living 300 miles apart) - some days (and weeks) feel as though we're barely holding on to France's TGV bullet train, leaving romantic Paris and speeding towards the beautiful port of Marseille.

Summer - I am looking forward to the wedding celebration on May 29th. After that, I'm taking 2 weeks off for our honeymoon. Two weeks to spend with my best friend, my new wife, and the life-long companion God seems to have so custom-made for me. It's hard to know what it will even be like. Thoughts of the future are full of sweet and wonderful unknowns. Having seen confidently God's hand at work this last year in bringing us together - and His hand at work even now in wedding plans - it's an adventure I can't wait for! Chasing, together, after a Savior and a God who has shown Himself completely faithful - calling us to simply continue following hard after Him. He's already providing in huge ways with housing for June & July!

Oxford - We're going for it! There are lots of things we don't have yet - important things, like money, housing, and plane tickets. What we do have is a growing confidence of God's leading and a peace that following Him is worth it. Over the last several months, God's brought both Lauren & I to a point where we feel like this is the open door God wants us to pursue. He's given both of us a passion for Kenya and a desire to tell others about life in Africa. He's given Lauren the dream of staying at home and raising kids and provided a way for me to earn a degree that would allow me to provide for a family and He continues to give me favor with leaders in African history at Oxford.

There's a lady, she worked in France as a missionary for the better part of 20 years, who once told me,

"Daniel, too often I think we stand around waiting for a green light from God. More often than not, I think God wants us to get up and go, and trust Him for the red light if it's not where He wants us. Trust Him to guide, but be courageous in pursuing opportunities."

I've never forgotten that challenge. So, Lauren & I are pursuing this open door. God may close it. If He does, we've lost nothing. If it's where He wants us and we didn't pursue it, we've lost an adventure He had dreamed for us and a chance to trust Him for big things.

All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

It's an incredibly exciting time in life. Following Christ, my Savior and my Lord, continues to be a mind-blowing, culture-defying adventure! It's not always sunshine and beautiful days, but, in 26 years, I have found that it is always worth it. Whether He's with me in the mud, helping me grow in determination and faith, or in the sun, holding my arms open wide in a smile big enough to hang the world on, Jesus Christ has shown himself true to His word:

that he will never leave me, nor forsake me.

(Hebrews 13:5)

Pursuit

Pursuit. Everyday, all around the world, people pursue the car, the experience, the beauty, the knight in shining armor, the job, the house, the latest fashion, the newest technology...the dream that captivates them. What is it that gets us out of bed in the morning? For most, that dream they're pursuing. It's the reason they can bear the job or manager that drives them crazy. It's how they get themselves out of bed before the sun's risen outside. It's the lack of a pursuit that makes our days miserable to get through.

Pursuits. They captivate our imaginations, fuel our daydreams, and drive our ambitions. They're a powerful thing. Think of the women and men who have changed the world because of the passions they have pursued. Martin Luther King Jr. Mother Theresa of Calcutta. Billy Graham. Steve Jobs. The list goes on. The truth in nearly every business book is that we rarely accomplish anything we're not pursuing and we rarely (if ever) have the perseverance to pursue something we're not passionate about. We pursue things that make us come alive, that consume our thoughts, our imagination, and our time.

What if we were someone else's passion, their pursuit? What if thoughts of us consumed their imagination, their thoughts, their time? What if we were the ones that made them come alive? What if you, what if I, were the ones that fueled another's passion? What if we were the thing that drove them to accomplish their goal - us? People in passionate pursuit of something will give up anything for it. How many entrepreneurs give up countless hours of sleep, money, energy, and their lives to accomplish what they're pursuing? It's a truth, not an exaggeration, that the people listed above 'gave their lives' for their passions - not just by dying for them (in the case of MLK Jr.), but more importantly, living for them.

Now, put those two pieces together. What if you were what someone was pursuing? What if you meant so much to them, that they were willing to give everything for you? Their sleep, their time, their money - their very lives. It's why loves stories captivate us so much. It's what we all long for - to know that we mean so much to someone else that they'd be willing to lay down their lives for us. It's what women dream of - a man who will pursue them and give everything for them. It's what men hope for - a woman they can give their life for, knowing that she'll give her life for him. Both long to be the desire and pursuit of another.

C.S. Lewis made the point that what we see, experience, feel in this world is simply a taste, a vapor, a spark of what's true of the next. This world simply echoes and reflects that which is eternal, unmarred by our greed, jealousy, or bad choices. It blows my mind to realize that we are what God is pursuing, that we are what He is passionate about. God's passionate pursuit of me is is greater than anything I'll ever experience or see on this earth. If men and women can give up their sleep, their time, their money, and their lives for their pursuits - God's pursuit of me has been, is, and continues to be even greater than that. The God of the universe, who doesn't need me, gave up so much to pursue me. Jesus gave up his place in heaven to come to earth. He went from being fully-God, to being fully-God and fully-man, taking on the form of us - humanity. He fixed himself to one place by taking on a bodily form - no longer God, everywhere all at once. He gave up his status as the ruler of the universe to be born in a manger. He gave up his desire to be spared the cross to be obedient to his Father - knowing that it was only by His death, a perfect, final sacrifice (Heb 9-10), that God would be able to have a relationship with us - the object of his pursuit ever since the world began. Unlike others, his life wasn't taken from him. He willingly laid it down to pursue me. He was the greatest of entrepreneurs. The most passionate of pursuers. He gave everything - both in life and in death - for his passion, a relationship with me and you. That we might know Him, as He knows us.

And then, at the end of it all, he left it up to us. It wasn't even a sealed deal. He pursued it as far as he could and then he left the final step up to us. We have the freedom to step towards him, or to step away. But he's given everything to pursue us. We, you and me, who captivate his thoughts and have fueled everything he's done since the creation of this world - we are his great pursuit. It's the power behind a truth they teach in Sunday School:

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through Him." (John 3:16-17)

It's why the story in the Bible is so powerful and has rung true throughout the millenia, and continues to. It's the great pursuit. It's the most powerful romance story - of a lover who has given it all for the one He loves. And He's done it all so that we might know him - as we know our friends, our family, and the ones we love - intimately, resting in their love, their grace, and the delight they have for us.

Know that God's crazy about you. He's been passionately pursuing you since the beginning of the world and he continues to. You are his great delight and He desires, so much, to be in a relationship with you, for you to rest in the fact that he's absolutely crazy about you - and that his grace and love is absolutely sufficient for every excuse and reason you could possibly make up for why He shouldn't love you. Give it up, you're in a loosing battle! ;-) He's crazy about you and no excuse you make or secret your reveal will scare him away or surprise him. He's been passionately pursuing you since you were born and He's not about to give up!

'500 Days of Summer' & LOVE :-)

Ben Witherington III, a fantastic New Testament Pauline scholar just blogged on the new film '500 Days of Summer.' I haven't seen the film yet, but his review makes me really interested to:

http://blog.beliefnet.com/bibleandculture/2009/08/500-days-of-summer---and-then-some.html

I really liked what he had to say about love. It rings true with what I've come to believe, that love isn't a search for THE right one - but finding someone you'd be willing to give everything in your life for. Here's what he said. See what you think:

'I must come clean at this point and say, I am no fatalist or Calvinist. I don't believe I was destined from before the foundation of the world to marry some one particular other person. Indeed, I would say the nature of true and real love precludes such a notion. Real love is freely given and freely received, whether it is divine or much more mundane love. It can't be forced, manipulated, coerced, predetermined or otherwise destined.

What I do believe is in the providence of God and in God's leading. I do believe God can lead you into right possibilities, but what you do with them is another matter. Love is about wooing and winning, about allowing yourself to be led and persuaded. Its not about one person making another an offer they inherently can't refuse. And if it was like that, if it was like something as inevitable as gravity, it wouldn't be true love. It might be a strong attraction like gravity, but it wouldn't be love. Love is not like a magnet and iron filings, its a personal interchange between two personal beings in which both are treated as persons of sacred worth due respect, both are treated as free agents, both are treated as God's special creatures. And yes, both are treated as sexual persons, not sex objects. The objectifying of the other person is a sin, as it reduces the other person to a sum of their body parts. It also leads persons in a desperate quest for 'enhancements'. The coup de grace for me recently was hearing a father rationalize that the best high school graduation gift he could give his daughter was breast implants! Sure, if the goal is helping her attract all the wrong sort of guys. On this theory all a wonderful car really needs to better appeal is bigger headlights.*'

*A new ad campaign for a used car company in Northern Ireland just came out that uses this same comparison of choosing a woman based on her breasts like you would a car on it's headlights. I wanted to throw-up, just like this dad's comment makes me sick to my stomach.