Friday Notes: And Everything Changes

This coming Monday marks the 37th week point for my pregnant wife. Along with a crazy 8-months that have flown by, it also means that our baby girl is "full term" and could show up anytime now. It means that nearly everything about our day to day lives could change at any moment.

Like so much change, I find that my anticipation for our daughter's birth is a mix of excitement and anxiousness. Big change seems to come in that combination for me. The anticipation of marrying Lauren and our wedding ceremony just over 2 years ago was characterized by this mix, as has every summer since then as we've prepared to move to another country, another apartment/home and make new friends. Excitement and anxiousness.

Perhaps, some of us naturally lean towards one or the other and ignore one. For example, maybe we tend to get anxious and stressed before a change. Any sense of excitement is drowned out by the overwhelming sense of the unknown. Or perhaps we're at the other end. We get so excited about change that we drown out the anxiousness. While on the surface, this second response seems preferable over the first, it might tend to lead to a lack of preparedness or appropriate understanding of what is on the horizon. But maybe not?

Paul does remind his readers in Philippi to not be anxious about anything, but in everything, to approach the throne of grace confidently and lay our worries before our Heavenly Father. Perhaps excitement and anxiousness need to be revisited.

Perhaps, excitement and forethought is a better goal to strive for. Scripture points out that a part of faith is the hope of things not yet seen. The unknown doesn't have to create anxiety. God is guiding and in control of this world - He is always sovereignly at work. There is an element to which we, as believers, are to be characterized by hope and joy - characteristics that, I believe, more readily come from an anticipation and excitement of what God has in store, then an anxiousness of the weight of what's to come.

But forethought is important. As a soon to be dad and mom, my wife and I have spent months thinking about what we need for our little girl when she arrives. Diapers. Clothes. Somewhere to sleep. Her birth certificate and US passport. etc. And, in the same way, as a husband and father, I've already had to secure housing in England, even though we won't need it until the end of September. Perhaps, mixed with excitement, forethought and forward thinking action is part of how we deal with anxiety? Just as we lay things at our Heavenly Father's feet, I think he - just as he called Adam to work - calls us to action to deal with the things ahead of us. There is no room for sitting on one's rear end, saying, "Okay God, you gotta take care of everything" if one has not faithfully done what God has given them the opportunity and ability to do. These opportunities and abilities are part of his provision.  It is the difference between lazy irresponsibility vs. faith that accompanies action. We not throw our hands up. We use the hands, the mind and what God has provided for us already, so that we might be found faithful in using, acknowledging and making the most of how God is working on our behalf.

Last night, a friend told our small group a story about his brother. He had given his brother a car and most of the money he had to help him get started with a job and providing for his family. Rather than take the opportunity to work hard, his brother simply sold the car and spent the money. My friend has had to come to a point where he realized he did what he could for his brother, but his brother also had a choice to use what he had been given. Similarly, God provides for us, but that provision requires our active work and toil - what God called Adam to before the fall.  We are made for work (but, just like God in creation, work accompanied by occasional rest).

Likewise, as we approach change, we have a choice. To choose anxiety or excitement. To choose anxiety or forethought. To choose faith or fear. May we choose to be excited for what God has around the corner of change. May we be faithful to think and plan ahead as much as we are able. And, having done these things, may we trust God all the way through that He has provided what we need now and will provide what we need then. That He will be faithfully journeying through the change with us and he just calls us to actively do the things that we need to do.

Because with every turn of life, it seems that everything changes.

Friday Notes: Anxious About Nothing

"Do not be anxious about anything, 

but in everything

by prayer and supplication

with thanksgiving

let your requests be known to God."

~Philippians 4:6~

It has been a crazy week for my wife and I.  To kick things off, we worked on our budget and had a sobering - yet helpful - discovery.  After balancing our finances and adding in our upcoming expenses (our baby girl's birth in August, plane tickets to the UK and US for Sep, Nov & Jan, etc.), we realized that we only had 8% in our budget to pay for life's living expenses (food, the car's gas/petrol, etc.).  No wonder we've been feeling so financially tight!

Life's unexpected expenses took us by surprise this year.  Our baby's birth is going to cost twice as much as anticipated (and that's if nothing goes wrong) and our deposit for our apartment in England and our plane tickets set us back over $6,000 (over 20% of our income for the year).  So, that's how our week started off.

Then on Wednesday morning, per my normal routine, I got my morning cup of coffee and sat down in front of the computer to do my bible study and catch up on emails.  What wasn't routine was spilling that entire mug of coffee on our only computer.  Thankfully we probably own the easiest-to-take-apart laptop that Mac has ever made.  I was able to take it all apart, clean every piece - including each individual key - and put it back together. In a huge answer to prayer, it seems to be working fine.

But, all that to say, it's been a hard week and this all on top of preparing for the baby, finishing up my PhD research here in Kenya, getting ready to move back to the UK, and thinking about job applications and interviews this fall.  When Paul writes to the church at Philipi and says, "be anxious about nothing", it's a word for me during this time where I'm anxious about just about everything.  

On top of this, I have the really great opportunity to present a paper at a Cambridge/British Institute conference in just under two weeks time here in Nairobi.  Having been away from the academic community this year, I was feeling well out of my league yesterday.  Then I read this in Philippians this morning:

"I can do all things through him who strengthens me."

~Philippians 4:13~

A word from God for me at this time.  Baby's paperwork? Becoming a father? Finishing my PhD? Applying and interviewing for a job? I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength!

I can't say I now rely on Christ's strength 100% of the time, but I'm learning to.  As much as this is one of the most difficult seasons of my life and a very difficult one for us as a married couple (although we've only been married 2 years), it is a season in which perseverance is building my faith.  So, laying hold of Christ's promise to give me the strength to do all that is on my plate and resting in His ability to accomplish all things, I am committed to persevering.  To keep on keeping on.  And to hold on to a God who is both always faithful and infinitely good to take care of all our needs! (Matthew 6:33)