A Long Absense & Two New Blogs

It's only to state the obvious to say that I haven't posted here for a while. There's lots of reasons for that - getting married in May 2010, moving to England in September, and starting a doctoral program at Oxford in October - but another reason for that is because my wife and I have started another blog to share about life together. That blog is:

twoostendorffs.blogspot.com

Click on over and check it out. My wife, Lauren, does most of the posts and they're great! Videos, stories, pictures. The post's will make you laugh, make you go 'hmm' about British culture, and, I think, you'll really enjoy them.

As well, starting today, I've begun another blog called 'A Lot of Studying, a Little Bit of Technology'. For those of you that know me, you know I love gadgets and technology. The idea came from my brother-in-law, Nathan, and will reflect on different apps, programs, gadgets, etc. - especially in relation to academic work. It should be interesting and I've got lots of tips to share already of things I've found the most useful. Check it out at:

lotsofstudyalittletech.blogspot.com

On the rare occassion, you might find a post on this blog, but I think it's likely going to lay pretty quiet until either summers or I'm done with my doctoral program.

Flying

That sweet spot

That something special

A particular thing

In a particular way.

Made for that place.

Exhausting

My job is exhausting. No, not in the way you might think. It's not a construction job where I'm physically worn-out at the end of every day. It's not a research job where my mind hurts after a full-day of reading and processing information. It's even a job where I love the people I work with. I have a great boss, who is not only understanding and supportive, but trusts and relies on me. I have co-workers who are great at what they do and who continue to teach me a lot. No, it's not the type of job I have that wears me out, nor is it the people.

The Job, God's Provision

I work at the church I started going to when my family moved to Little Rock in 1999: Fellowship Bible Church. Started 33 years ago, it's a great place with a solid foundation and a commitment to the Lord. With a weekly attendance of over 4,000 men, women and children, it's also a big place with lots going on. I work in the "Production Technology" department. We're the team who's in charge of everything from sound to video to lights. We work with some of the coolest technology and do a great job at what we do. On Sunday's, our team of 10 are the ones who make sure that everyone can see and hear in worship and in the sermon. During the week, we keep events running on campus, maintain computer networks, the phone system, etc. There are always new challenges, new fires to put out, and new things to try.

Seven months ago the job was a gift from God, just what I needed financially, location wise, and a great team to get to work with - and it still is just that, a gift from God. His provision for me. In it, He has reminded me that He is Jehovah Jireh - God, the provider.

Wedding Hammers

"Wedding" and "hammers" in the same phrase? What in the world! Lauren and I have started getting wedding gifts over the last month. It's been so much fun to open them and continues to get us so excited about our new life together. It's also really humbling. That people have spent their hard-earned money to bless us - I can't think of a better word for it than humbling. To receive gifts we in no way deserve, given by friends and family out of their love for us.

In all the gifts, I've received a couple of hammers - which is great! You can always use a hammer and it's nice to have an extra one around. Not only that, hammers are great for a lot of different things. You can use them to hold a door up while you hang the hinges or as a base for another hammer in pulling out long nails. But what a hammer's really made for - what it's really good at, is hammering nails or pulling nails out. It's a pretty simple tool, but it does those things the best - those uses are the hammer's sweet spot. That place where it's being used in the way it was made to be used.

A Mother

The same principle holds true for us. God has given us an ability to do so many different things. Just watch a mom on an average day. Mentoring and guiding her kids as they grow, cooking a meal, cleaning a house, learning to get gum out of her daughter's hair or the 'bug guts' out of her son's shirt, all the while building friendships with friends and investing in others - whether leading a Bible study, working with a team on a design project, or helping someone decorate their home. Mom's are the, without exception, the best example in our world of the ability God has given us to do so many different things - whether they're our favorite thing to do or not. But even a mom has her sweet spot - whether it's hosting a party, painting in pastels or acrylics, writing an article on the place of romance in medieval literature, or putting together a brief on the affects of the Greek economic crisis on the European Union.

I admire mom's so much. Their lives of sacrifice and their faithfulness to doing what needs to get done. There is no one in our culture and in our world who works 24/7 with no pay and, sometimes, shockingly little encouragement. No one, period. There is no profession and no job that gives us as much as a mother does. I'd like to think it's the reason that both in the UK and in the US, there's a day set aside every year to celebrate moms (UK: March 14; US: May 9 - this year).

Surviving & the Cry

Back to the beginning and my job. While mom's are the best example, we all are capable of doing lots of different things. Over the years, I've planned events for the JBU Admissions Department, played host to groups at a 'bed and breakfast' in Northern Ireland (and cleaned bathrooms, made beds, and did LOTS of laundry), and learned and managed a 15 year-old telephone system. There's lots of things we are able to do. God made us in that incredible way. I had several friends last year at Queen's University who didn't love studying, but could do it - and did it well. They knew it wasn't what they were made for - but it was what they were called to for that time. Likewise, I wasn't made for these jobs, but I was able to do them.

I know these jobs and places when I'm in them. Those places that, rather than giving us life, suck the life out of us. Every job will have its days like that - but it's a different thing when every day sucks the life out of us. It's the days that remind us of our dreams. Too many people have ignored this reminder and remained "stuck" in jobs they hate. They just push through life - counting down the number days until retirement. It's an "evolutionary" mindset to working - those 40+ years in which we spend the majority of our life. A mindset that to survive until it's over. It's in jobs like that, that something cries out inside of us "There's gotta be something more than this!" The realization that we were made to fly.

Made to Fly

I have a friend who buys handmade, beautiful guitars in Belfast, Northern Ireland and then brings them back to the US, where he resells them for a small profit. They are gorgeous guitars with a crisp and wonderful sound. Handmade, the artisan cuts and sands each piece of the instrument. He makes it for a purpose: to be played, to be heard, and to be enjoyed.

There's a word in Hebrew that has been transliterated "shalom". It's a rich word, with a depth of meaning not mirrored in any English word. In the midst of telling his people that they would spend 70 years in captivity - in a city not there own, where they are called to "seek the welfare of the city" (v.7) and the people in it - God, through the prophet Jeremiah, says this after giving this bleak message:

For I know the plans I have for you,

declares the LORD,

plans for welfare and not for evil,

to give you a future and a hope.

(Jeremiah 29:11, ESV)

The word "shalom" is there in the middle. Here it's translated as "welfare". It's also been translated "prosper" (NIV, NET), "peace" (KJV, ASV), and "good" (NLT). This is a verse that, throughout the centuries, Christians have held to as a reminder that God has a purpose for our lives - both individually and corporately.

It's no surprise. Two of the things that bring me joy and confidence in my relationship with Christ - and two questions that I think everyone has - are: What's my worth? Am I important and/or valuable as an individual? and, second, What's my purpose? Do I have a purpose for being here, other than trying to survive? It's the second of these that this verse answers so strongly - that God has a purpose for us and not just any purpose, but one that brings hope and a bright future.

Back to "shalom". Swanson, in his Dictionary of Biblical Languages with Semantic Domains: Hebrew, further defines "shalom". He adds: completeness, health, satisfaction, wholeness, and contentment. There's so much to this word. Now look back at the verse from Jeremiah. This "shalom", this completeness, wholeness and contentment is what God desires for us. Not only that, it's the plan He has for us.

Like the guitar maker in Belfast, God, as Creator, made us for a specific purpose. He made us - in all our intricacies - carrying the analogy of the guitar, to make music beautifully and uniquely - we're one of a kind. And He, in His plans, wants us to be there. He made us to fly.

Waiting to Fly

It's a call to trust. To trust that God's plans are at work and to trust His heart and His character - that He loves us so much that He wants us to fly the way He made us to. It's taking ahold of the "abundant life" that is ours when we trust in Jesus Christ and allow Him and the Triune Godhead to lead and guide us. Like God's people in Babylon, it's a call to "seek the welfare" of the job, the company, and the place where we are, whether we enjoy it or not - waiting for God's plans to be fulfilled. It's being diligent in the now, right where God has us, trusting that, if we'll trust and follow God's voice and His leading, He knows how He's going to get us to that "sweet spot". It's that place where, as He watches us fly, we'll feel God's joy and smile, as He watches us do what He made us for. Content, whole, satisfied.

I'm waiting to fly and, in the meantime, I'm going to give the best I have to give. I'm waiting on my Heavenly Father, my God, to guide me to that sweet spot.

Life Update:Wedding, Summer, & Oxford

Words on paper,

thoughts in writing,

the crazy clouds of my mind

settled, still, and visible.

For weeks now, I've missed writing. I've journaled more these last few weeks than I have in a long time. Even though I'm journaling, I miss writing for school or to share a lesson I've learned in following Christ or to simply put thoughts spinning around in my head on paper. I have missed it.

I've been working on my budget (thank you Mint.com) and pre-marital counseling homework tonight. I didn't want to call it a night just yet. There are lots of things I've wanted to write about over this last week and these last months, but tonight I simply want to write a life update.

Wedding - Less than 8 weeks ago, I asked Lauren Marie Raikes to be my wife. The frenzy of January and February, getting ready for the engagement and the anticipation of placing that ring on her finger, seem a faint blur on the horizon of my memories. And yet, they are incredibly sweet memories: planning the details of the proposal, picking up the ring from the store, and hoping she caught a glimpse, in those things, of the depth and richness of my love for her - both my bubbling, giddy school-boy love and the fullness of my commitment to pursue & love her every day of my life. It's hard to believe we're now less than 7 weeks away from the wedding. In the midst of wedding planning, pre-marital counseling, and trying to see each other as much as possible (living 300 miles apart) - some days (and weeks) feel as though we're barely holding on to France's TGV bullet train, leaving romantic Paris and speeding towards the beautiful port of Marseille.

Summer - I am looking forward to the wedding celebration on May 29th. After that, I'm taking 2 weeks off for our honeymoon. Two weeks to spend with my best friend, my new wife, and the life-long companion God seems to have so custom-made for me. It's hard to know what it will even be like. Thoughts of the future are full of sweet and wonderful unknowns. Having seen confidently God's hand at work this last year in bringing us together - and His hand at work even now in wedding plans - it's an adventure I can't wait for! Chasing, together, after a Savior and a God who has shown Himself completely faithful - calling us to simply continue following hard after Him. He's already providing in huge ways with housing for June & July!

Oxford - We're going for it! There are lots of things we don't have yet - important things, like money, housing, and plane tickets. What we do have is a growing confidence of God's leading and a peace that following Him is worth it. Over the last several months, God's brought both Lauren & I to a point where we feel like this is the open door God wants us to pursue. He's given both of us a passion for Kenya and a desire to tell others about life in Africa. He's given Lauren the dream of staying at home and raising kids and provided a way for me to earn a degree that would allow me to provide for a family and He continues to give me favor with leaders in African history at Oxford.

There's a lady, she worked in France as a missionary for the better part of 20 years, who once told me,

"Daniel, too often I think we stand around waiting for a green light from God. More often than not, I think God wants us to get up and go, and trust Him for the red light if it's not where He wants us. Trust Him to guide, but be courageous in pursuing opportunities."

I've never forgotten that challenge. So, Lauren & I are pursuing this open door. God may close it. If He does, we've lost nothing. If it's where He wants us and we didn't pursue it, we've lost an adventure He had dreamed for us and a chance to trust Him for big things.

All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

It's an incredibly exciting time in life. Following Christ, my Savior and my Lord, continues to be a mind-blowing, culture-defying adventure! It's not always sunshine and beautiful days, but, in 26 years, I have found that it is always worth it. Whether He's with me in the mud, helping me grow in determination and faith, or in the sun, holding my arms open wide in a smile big enough to hang the world on, Jesus Christ has shown himself true to His word:

that he will never leave me, nor forsake me.

(Hebrews 13:5)