Words on paper,
thoughts in writing,
the crazy clouds of my mind
settled, still, and visible.
For weeks now, I've missed writing. I've journaled more these last few weeks than I have in a long time. Even though I'm journaling, I miss writing for school or to share a lesson I've learned in following Christ or to simply put thoughts spinning around in my head on paper. I have missed it.
I've been working on my budget (thank you Mint.com) and pre-marital counseling homework tonight. I didn't want to call it a night just yet. There are lots of things I've wanted to write about over this last week and these last months, but tonight I simply want to write a life update.
Wedding - Less than 8 weeks ago, I asked Lauren Marie Raikes to be my wife. The frenzy of January and February, getting ready for the engagement and the anticipation of placing that ring on her finger, seem a faint blur on the horizon of my memories. And yet, they are incredibly sweet memories: planning the details of the proposal, picking up the ring from the store, and hoping she caught a glimpse, in those things, of the depth and richness of my love for her - both my bubbling, giddy school-boy love and the fullness of my commitment to pursue & love her every day of my life. It's hard to believe we're now less than 7 weeks away from the wedding. In the midst of wedding planning, pre-marital counseling, and trying to see each other as much as possible (living 300 miles apart) - some days (and weeks) feel as though we're barely holding on to France's TGV bullet train, leaving romantic Paris and speeding towards the beautiful port of Marseille.
Summer - I am looking forward to the wedding celebration on May 29th. After that, I'm taking 2 weeks off for our honeymoon. Two weeks to spend with my best friend, my new wife, and the life-long companion God seems to have so custom-made for me. It's hard to know what it will even be like. Thoughts of the future are full of sweet and wonderful unknowns. Having seen confidently God's hand at work this last year in bringing us together - and His hand at work even now in wedding plans - it's an adventure I can't wait for! Chasing, together, after a Savior and a God who has shown Himself completely faithful - calling us to simply continue following hard after Him. He's already providing in huge ways with housing for June & July!
Oxford - We're going for it! There are lots of things we don't have yet - important things, like money, housing, and plane tickets. What we do have is a growing confidence of God's leading and a peace that following Him is worth it. Over the last several months, God's brought both Lauren & I to a point where we feel like this is the open door God wants us to pursue. He's given both of us a passion for Kenya and a desire to tell others about life in Africa. He's given Lauren the dream of staying at home and raising kids and provided a way for me to earn a degree that would allow me to provide for a family and He continues to give me favor with leaders in African history at Oxford.
There's a lady, she worked in France as a missionary for the better part of 20 years, who once told me,
"Daniel, too often I think we stand around waiting for a green light from God. More often than not, I think God wants us to get up and go, and trust Him for the red light if it's not where He wants us. Trust Him to guide, but be courageous in pursuing opportunities."
I've never forgotten that challenge. So, Lauren & I are pursuing this open door. God may close it. If He does, we've lost nothing. If it's where He wants us and we didn't pursue it, we've lost an adventure He had dreamed for us and a chance to trust Him for big things.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
It's an incredibly exciting time in life. Following Christ, my Savior and my Lord, continues to be a mind-blowing, culture-defying adventure! It's not always sunshine and beautiful days, but, in 26 years, I have found that it is always worth it. Whether He's with me in the mud, helping me grow in determination and faith, or in the sun, holding my arms open wide in a smile big enough to hang the world on, Jesus Christ has shown himself true to His word:
that he will never leave me, nor forsake me.
(Hebrews 13:5)
