This last week, my wife and I had the opportunity to go out on a date. It was the first time since our daughter was born just over 2 months ago that we were able to get away just the two of us. Because we've been learning so much about our families and what growing up in our families brings to our marriage (see "On the Same Page? In the Same Playbook?"), our dinner conversation naturally turned to thinking more along these lines as we head back to the US to live with our families for two months. And what we came to discover fascinated us.
Schooling makes a huge difference on what kind of routine and structure our families developed. For example, my wife and all of her siblings were homeschooled. One of the great things about homeschool is the flexibility it allows for learning - field trips, different learning styles, projects, etc. According to my wife, it was a rare day when some educational outing wasn't planned as part of their education for that day. As well, they were a highly active family, so whether it was 5am swim practice or late night gymnastics practice, her mom was driving the kids everywhere. There was no bus to pick them up early or bring them home in the evenings. So the family's daily life and scheduled was shaped by these activities. Now, contrast that to my family's experience.
Me and my siblings always went to formal school. Either a bus picked us up at 7am or my parents dropped us off by 8am. We had classes that were always a specific length of time, broken up by morning recess, lunch and afternoon recess - all also at very specific times. We'd get on a bus at the end of the day and head home, leaving the school at exactly the same time and arriving home roughly around the same time, depending on traffic. When my sister's stayed for sports, the bus would bring them home just before dinnertime at 6pm. Day in, day out, our weekday's looked almost entirely the same one day to the next. Formal schooling was and is a highly time-structured life.
As we talked about this on our date, we took a step back and realized how profound a difference these upbringings have had on our lives and our families. No wonder I am used to such a real regular rhythm in my day - it's what I've known and lived for so long. And no wonder my wife's family is so much better at going with the flow of the day, because that is what life has required of them. The truth is, we are shaped by our life's experience, our history. In this case, we were shaped by the rhythm of our school experience, that which makes up 13 out of the first 18 years of our lives.
Broader Reflections
It comes as no surprise for me to say that history is profoundly significant for today. In our marriage and personal lives, different experiences have shaped my wife and our families. And the same thing is true for every person's life - whether a family member, a friend, or the focus of historical research.
I'm currently in the midst of writing up my DPhil thesis. I'm looking at the history of a specific family from Kenya. In the course of the research, it has become vividly clear how a person's family and their experiences shape who they are. For example, one member of the family left Kenya in 1927 to pursue education in the US and the UK. Over the next 33 years, he would spend over half of that time out of Kenya and away from his family. This absence from the family's shared experiences significantly impacted his experience, both what he learned and experienced while abroad, as well as what he missed while away from Kenya.
You see, it's all too easy for us to see history as simply events and the buzz of activity and loose sight of the people who are at the heart of these activities. What was their experience? Their background? It's why context is so important. Context. Context. Context. It tells us so much and is so crucial to understanding people and the communities of which they are apart.
For we are all shaped by our history. We as individuals. We as families. We as communities. We as nations. We all are shaped by our history.
